Response to '10 women Christian men should not marry'

I came across something on Facebook last Sunday that caught my eye in a curious way. It was a blog from a pastor posted by the chaplain for my last Army unit, about 10 types of women Christian men shouldn't marry. I read the article out of curiosity and found it to be very unrealistic and adhering to a dogma based on the author's own point of view. It also seemed like social control at it's worst, mostly because it's done with the best intentions and... is mostly unnecessary. Most of them were the sort of things that any man should be able to figure out just by simple logic.

My response to all 10 types are listed below. I don't necessarily disagree with all the points expressed. Most, if not all, of the women described here are NOT the ones you want to even date, let alone marry. However, like I said, you'd have to be a real dumbass to get involved with any of these women...

1.) "The Unbeliever."

Mixed marriages (with regard to ideology and world view) are a bit of a challenge, that is for sure. Anyone who marries someone with radically different views from theirs is asking for trouble. You'll be constantly arguing with her. That's why NO ONE thinking clearly would do such things. Of course, there will be some people who insist on doing such stupid things, which civil society usually resolves through a practice churches hate called 'divorce.' And that leads us to...

2.) The Divorcee.

the author here is probably referring to avoiding people who have been divorced several times, which is quite sensible. That's what my last unit chaplain said when I inquired about this on Facebook.

Being divorced once may not be an issue. More than that, and any sane and rational person is going to start questioning that person's choices in life. If you don't, you'll probably be like a certain Army NCO that I know who was married three times before he was thirty. I won't go into details on the guy's private life but, I can say this much: marriage is NOT for him.

Since we are on the subject though, I think I can offer a unique perspective here...

Divorce is awful but, there are worse things. Would you want that woman to stay married to an abusive alcoholic just because he never cheated on her? That's ridiculous and dangerous. That kind of non-sensical point of view scares people away from having any belief in God at all. Also, I doubt strongly that God or his son Jeshua would want a woman to stay with a husband that mistreats her. If they did, they would not be worthy of anyone's worship. God should NOT be requiring people to be miserable (and both psychologically and spiritually tortured) just to follow some rule and maintain some kind of unworkable, possibly tyrannical social order. That kind of behavior and thought process drives people AWAY from God. That's not what we want here, right?

3.) The Older Woman

For this one, the author decided to quote a study to try and back his claims. (And I love just how much I laugh when someone tries to use the results of a single study to 'prove' something...)

Apparently, even secular researchers are now beginning to discover results that back up biblical claims: “If you’re a woman two or more years older than your husband, your marriage is 53 percent more likely to end in divorce than if he was one year younger to three years older.” (Source: Rebecca Kippen, Bruce Chapman and Peng Yu, “What’s Love Got to Do With It? Homogamy and Dyadic Approaches to Understanding Marital Instability,” Melbourne Institute of Applied Economic and Social Research, 2009.)

So, I have to be older than my wife, huh? Even if she's only 2 or 3 years older than me? How about 2 or 3 minutes? Is that okay with you? This sounds so ageist.

A woman that's 2 or 3 years older than her husband is not a significant difference, when the marriage happens between young people in their 20's or 30's. It might be for me since I'm 33 and a 35 or 36 year-old woman may have a lot more risks with pregnancy and childbirth. Therefore, I'm going after someone younger than me for just that reason. It's also highly likely that at least one of my children will be born with the same neurological condition that I have. I prefer that my children do NOT have any other issues complicating their lives.

4.) The Feminist

Marry a Feminist? Are you nuts? Feminism has devolved into another bullshit left-wing trope that man-haters (and probably a LOT of Butch Lesbians) use to blame men for all of the evils in the world. Women can be quite evil too. Ever hear of Mary, Queen of Scots? Catherine the Great of Russia? Lizzie Borden? Hillary Clinton? The list is a VERY long one, indeed.

Also, quoting St. Paul, a known misogynist, to make this point was not necessary. Especially since he just HAD to reference the myth from Genesis about how women were created from one of Adam's ribs. Moses made that story up when he wrote the Torah millennia ago. He created (or transcribed) this myth to explain what was otherwise unexplainable at the time. They didn't have Science. They had no idea how the Universe worked or how life was even created. We are much more knowledgeable in that area now.

And no, Science and Faith are NOT at odds with each other. Anyone who thinks they are doesn't really understand how either Faith or Science are supposed to work. Sir Isaac Newton (who was also a devout Roman Catholic) said it best when he described Science as 'an attempt to learn how God created the universe.' That should be the way people think of and approach Science: just the way of figuring out how everything works. If that somehow went against the Lord's plan for Humanity, he probably shouldn't have given us high-order intelligence or an opposable thumb.

Finally, this quote stood out for me:

"Men, your wife is to be your “helper” (Gen 2:18)–not your leader and certainly not your equal in terms of authority."

Be careful with that kind of talk, padre. You might give some people the wrong idea. That being said, no man should let his woman push him around. I have seen men who do let themselves be pushed around by their women. I had no respect for them. They were the very epitome of the word 'pussy' when used in the context of insulting a male. By that same token, I would not want a wife who would make herself subservient to me. I would not respect (or find very attractive and desirable) a woman who has no spirit or mind of her own. That's not a Human being, it's an empty shell. At most, someone like that will have my pity, not my love.

5.) The Sexy-Dresser

You are aware that women dress 'sexy' (which is a term with a great many different meanings to many different people) to make themselves feel good, right? They like to look and feel pretty. It's not all about you, guy. Besides, the feminine form is God's greatest work of art and I am an art lover. So, I don't mind if a woman wears a dress that shows off her legs a little. For example...

If that picture looks at all 'slutty' to you good sir, then you need to hitch a ride with the Doctor in his TARDIS so he can take you back to 1854.

Of course, I'm not gonna pursue someone who dresses sleazy in public and looks like she's about to shoot a scene for a porno flick. I'm not stupid or naive. I never was that stupid or naive. Women that do dress that way are usually looking for some kind of male attention that's not related to finding a husband. I won't use any pictures as examples here because it's not necessary. We all have imaginations and we have all known at least one individual who behaved that way. And I'm sure all of them ended up with some rather tragic, heart-breaking failed relationships, too. (Not to mention a few unexpected childbirths...)

All that being said, not everyone parading around in skimpy clothes is a harlot. For example, the Supermodel Adriana Lima. Her job is to model a lot of lingerie and barely-there bikinis but, you won't find someone more religious than her. She routinely brings a Bible back stage with her to fashion shows and reads from it while her make-up is being applied. She also stayed a virgin until she got married. She's quite beautiful and a devout Roman Catholic but, still parades around in very little clothing on her body. So, yeah... Maybe we all shouldn't be so quick to judge. I do remember SOMEONE saying something about that once in a book I read as a child...

6.) The Loud-Mouth

The author was talking about women who like to gossip a lot. Something tells me he's never been to a beauty parlor, brunch or sewing circle.

ALL women gossip a little. That is the nature of the beast. You just want to avoid women who make it a point to stab people in the back with harsh words. That's another type of woman I *DON'T* need a clergyman to tell me to avoid. I don't want a bitch like that in my life, anyway. People who go around bad-mouthing everyone else are usually pretty rotten themselves.

I have seen this all too often in life, especially in those (mostly) 'wasted years' I spent in the Army. Also, gossip is not strictly limited to women. Men are just as guilty of this bad behavior. So guys, don't be that kind of an asshole. I promise you that it will not turn out well.

7.) The Child-Hater

Since I want children, it would be quite illogical to form a romantic relationship with a woman who doesn't want or can't have them. Again, I don't need you to tell me these things. Believe it or not, I'm actually pretty bright and quite capable of making my own good and wise decisions.

Also, there are some people who would make lousy parents and know this for themselves already. Trying to force them to reproduce against their will is unspeakably wrong and damaging to both that individual and society as a whole.

8.) The Wander-Luster

"The constant desire for new experiences, new places, new faces, and new forms of entertainment only serves to clearly manifest the fact that the woman has not found her rest in God."

What?!

You know what I call someone who has no desire for learning or desire to socialize with anyone new? Spiritually dead. I don't need (or want) to stifle a woman's personality and spirit to have a good wife. That's not a partner and spouse, that would be a slave. Slavery is wrong.

Life is all about new experiences and exploring the universe around you. You're cheating yourself of a very rich and fulfilling life if you don't explore what's around you.

That being said, I am not interested in marrying someone with a bohemian bent. If she wants to travel the world constantly, she probably shouldn't be looking to get married to me. I've had enough world travel already. I'd prefer to stay in one place for a while.

9.) The Career Woman

Again, I don't need someone to explain to me what is blindingly obvious. A man or woman that dedicates themselves to a job more than their most important personal relationship in this world are asking for that relationship to wither away and die. I wouldn't marry someone who doesn't make time for me. Wouldn't that be another (perhaps unwitting) example of the child hater previously mentioned in talking point #7? Why would I marry her?

Also, it would be nice if I could be the sole breadwinner and the wife could dedicate herself to raising the children. However, economic reality does not usually allow for that anymore. You can thank the crooks that conned their way into political office for that sad fact. And as long as those crooks run things, houses, cars and groceries are not ever going to get any cheaper. I truly wonder how many marriages came to an end simply because one or both had to spend virtually every waking minute focused on their job just to make ends meet. I know of at least one marriage where this scenario was played out for many years. I don't know if it directly contributed to the marriage ending, though.

10.) The Devotion-less Woman

So, if she isn't overtly religious, she's somehow unworthy? That seems a bit harsh. Besides, I don't say prayers every day. That is reserved for when I have an emergency that really does need divine intervention. God gave me the ability to solve most of my problems and that is what he expects me to do. Just because he's capable of anything does not mean that he should have to do EVERYTHING, guy. Even if God was as ego-centric as some might claim (based on inaccurate views of the first 3 commandments), NO ONE likes an ass-kisser. That behavior gets annoying really quickly...

Also, I have been around a LOT of overtly religious people in my life and not a single one of them truly understood what it actually means to be a Christian. Oftentimes, they were a bunch of charlatans who probably violated the 3rd Commandment by (perhaps unwittingly) committing evil in God's name and drove people away from faith. I will never purposely put myself into a position where I'm around those kinds of disreputable individuals ever again. Faith is fine. Organized religion is the worst enabler of bad behavior that Human Civilization has ever invented.

Some of the worst experiences of my life were because of overtly religious people. To me, they are the most dangerous and evil people in the world. And it's all because they insist on being so intolerant of anything or anyone that is different from them and their worldview. That kind of behavior is NOT in keeping with the teachings of the Christ (See Matthew 7:1) or the spirit of this blessed republic we call the United States of America. If you think, feel or act that way, you are not some 'good Christian' looking out for me. You're the enemy and you will be destroyed.

An idea that has to be forced on people is not an idea that is worthwhile.

- Lord Publius

Love is not a science experiment

So, I'm reading a blog post from the website of Hollywood actress Zooey Deschanel about some experiment designed to make people fall in love with each other. The author admited that the experiment was not all that traditional in it's approach, mostly because it was conducted in a bar instead of a laboratory. So, it's more social than actual science. Okay but, that doesn't necessarily mean the results won't still be interesting, right?

The thing that stuck out the most for me was a line near the end of the post:

"The amazing thing is realizing that the rationalization of love doesn’t take away any of its profundity or sincerity or magic."

Well, no shit? Really?! NEWS FLASH: Romantic feelings tend to act on the brain in the same way as being high on Cocaine does. Of course, it's going to feel good! Why would someone bother with it if it didn't feel good? It certainly does make you do all kinds of strange things you'd never do if you were thinking straight.

Love is not something that can be tested via Scientific Method. Doing that would take the fun out of it, anyway. And remember, this is coming from someone who approaches life as nothing but one big mad science experiment. To prove it, I'll list all 36 questions they used in this 'experiment' and answer them right here and now. I promise you that VIRTUALLY NONE of them are likely to be as personal as the experiment claimed...

1.) Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

Probably a lovely woman that I want to seduce and make fall in love with me. Hopefully, I'll have the charm and skill to make it happen. ;)

2.) Would you like to be famous? In what way?

No. I don't want the attention.

3.) Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? Why?

Only if it's a professional business call.

4.) What would constitute a perfect day for you?

Kicking back, relaxing and NOT having to do anything related to work or personal business (i.e. paying bills, mowing the lawn, et al.)

5.) When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

I don't remember. It was probably the last time I did Karaoke back in 2011, while I was in the Army serving in Korea.

6.) If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?

The mind. Having a great body is useless if you don't have a mind to control it...

7.) Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

No and I'd be very worried about someone who did. They might be suicidal.

8.) Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

I don't have a partner right now so, I'll have to be unusually generic. We're both Human, we're both Adults and we're also both likely to be the same nationality as well.

9.) For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

I don't have an answer for this one. There is a LOT to be grateful for...

10.) If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Not going to a religious school.

11.) Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

That would take a LOT more than 4 minutes.

12.) If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?

Better social skills. Mine have improved immeasurably since I discovered that I had Asperger's Syndrome. However, there's still a long way to go before I can convincingly fake being a Nuerotypical.

13.) If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
Crystal balls can't do that, honey. Trying to see the future is a waste of time anyway. The laws of quantum mechanics (specifically the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle) clearly state that the future can NEVER be predicted.

Even God himself does not know exactly what will happen. He only knows all the different possibilities and which are the most likely to occur. He then prepares for the ones that are most likely and executes the appropriate plan of action. That is how it seems like he knows everything when the laws of the Universe he created prevents that from being 100% factual.

14.) Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?

Yes, and I haven't done it because buying a Corvette requires more money than I have to spend.

15.) What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

So far, I'd say doing so well in college and buying a house.

16.) What do you value most in a friendship?

Loyalty.

17.) What is your most treasured memory?

That's hard to pick.

18.) What is your most terrible memory?

Having a woman I loved tell me that she got impregnated by the idiot she was dating at the time. That was pretty sad...

19.) If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

The future can't be predicted.

20.) What does friendship mean to you?
I don't know how to answer this question.

21.) What roles do love and affection play in your life?

Sadly, not much.

22.) Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

Again, I would need to have a partner first. So, I'll just make something up based on the Ginger of my dreams, and write them in no particular order...

1 - Absolutely intoxicating, all-natural figure
2 - Sweet-natured, (seemingly) bubbly personality
3 - Erudite enough to have a decent conversation with her (That is quite important...)
4 - Beautiful blue eyes
5 - I like how she respects herself enough to NOT give in to any of the pressures put on bikini/lingerie/nude models to do something a bit more risqué...

23.) How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

We were never as close as the families you see on TV shows. No, my childhood was not always happy.

24.) How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

I feel fine about it and I am NOT at all interested in trying to find a wife that reminds me of her. That sounds like a weird form of Oedipus complex to me. Men who seek out women that act like their mothers will invariably start acting like their fathers. And since my parents are now divorced, I feel it's best to NOT emulate their mistakes.

25.) Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "we are both in this room feeling..."

Again, this is something that I can only do if I actually had someone in the room with me.

26.) Complete this sentence "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."

My life? My bed? That question seems a bit generic to me...

27.) If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I might seem like a Human version of Mr. Spock (or a little nuts) but, I'm not. That's just the way Asperger's affects a person's brain and behavior. I have all the same feelings as anyone else, they're just accessed in different ways.

28.) Tell your partner what you like about them: be honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

Answering this question honestly might require me to be less than a gentleman. Can I get away with simply saying that she's the Ginger of my dreams? Can I also say that I want to wife her and give her a half-dozen kids? Because I do... ;)

29.) Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

All 4 years, 9 months and 4 days of my time in the Army. Next Question.

30.) When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

I don't remember.

31.) Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

Well, if the Ginger of my dreams was here, I'd certainly love how downright intoxicating she is... Seriously, that gal makes me drool like a hungry dog eyeballing a steak! She could make me do things I'd ordinarily NEVER do, like go see Romantic Comedies at the movie theater or buy flowers... :P

32.) What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

The horrors of war, maybe? I make jokes about virtually anything since that's how I deal with life's various horrors and outrages. Almost nothing is too sacred.

33.) If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

That question is awfully morbid... And I don't have an answer for it, either. Who goes around thinking about something like that, anyway?

34.) Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

The external HDD's attached to my computers. They contain a record of nearly everything that I own and will be VERY helpful when it comes time to make a claim against my homeowner's policy. The fireproof safe with all the important documents (and my car keys) will have already been liberated from the house earlier, courtesy of a loved one carrying them out with him/her.

35.) Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

Probably one of my younger siblings since they are all young and in good health.

36.) Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

I have no real idea of how to approach people and strike up a conversation with them in a 'seemingly natural' kind of way. Many people have tried to help with this and I have gotten better but, I still have a long way to go. A few pointers would be greatly appreciated.

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There. Now, did any of that tell you anything about me that was really unexpected or new? Almost ALL of it was related to something previously mentioned in past blog posts.

It would be enough to start a few conversations and get to know someone but, I doubt strongly that I would fall in love with someone so quickly after asking them this (or any) series of questions. That is just ridiculous.

- Lord Publius

Features Wishlist for Windows

Overall, Windows is a pretty decent operating system. While hardcore Turbo-nerds will complain about it endlessly (and often with good reason), it still manages to get the job done for most users. However, those complaints the nerds bring up do bring up good points. And I have a few questions/concerns/complaints of my own. So, without further ado, i NOW PRESENT...

Things that I wish Windows had that are already in Linux
(And a few other things...)

1.) Free AV editing program

We're not talking about something as fancy as Adobe's After Effects and Premiere programs. It only needs to be as good as a combination of VLC Media player and Windows Movie Maker, which you can still download for free from M$. Just a little something that can help me make a few quick and dirty vlogs for YouTube. That's all I ask. Being able to output to a video file besides .wmv would also be nice. There's nothing wrong with supporting a universal format like .mpg, Microsoft.

2.) Free HTML editor/Web development tool

And I don't mean Notepad. I mean something that has a few professional-looking HTML templates that I can use. Something like Dreamweaver, even if it's a stripped-down version, would be nice to have.

3.) Tabbed browsing in Windows Explorer windows

Linux has been doing it for years. Why does Microsoft NOT rip off this idea like they did with so many others over the years? (UNIX pipes architecture, et al.)

4.) Multiple desktops

This is already being done with a 3rd party software source called 'Go Screen' but, why is Microsoft themselves NOT doing this right now? Also, why has Apple never done that with MacOS, either? The idea isn't really all that radical or new. Linux has been doing it for MANY years and it certainly wouldn't be the first idea that M$ got from the world of Unix-derivatives.

5.) NOT freezing up or slowing down when I just simply right-clicked on the fucking icon for the Recycle Bin!!!

Seriously, why does Windows do that, man?! I'm trying to get some work done here!!!

6.) A web browser that I can use for downloads/updates from M$ that isn't Internet Explorer.

There is a new one code-named 'Spartan' in development for the upcoming Windows 10 right now. Let's hope it lives up to all the hype. I can understand why they don't want to support Firefox and other browsers at their download sites. Why support someone else's web browser when there is no financial incentive to do so?

That being said, the ONLY reason I use Internet Explorer is to download updates, patches and security fixes from Microsoft's website. That's a pretty sad commentary on the overall usefulness of a piece of software that is just as widespread as Windows itself.

7.) A legit copy of DOS in the system

Since Windows 2000, The OS has no longer been a GUI shell sitting on top of DOS. That is good for a lot of reasons but, there are some of us who are still using DOS programs. (Gaming, controller programs for machines in a factory, et al.) I'd rather have an *actual* copy of the last version of DOS that M$ made (v6.22 in 1992) rather than use a 3rd party program like DOSBox. DOSBox is a good program but, it will never work 100%. Actual DOS would. That OS is small enough to fit on a single floppy disk! There is no reason why you can't at least make it a free download from your website, Microsoft.


- Lord Publius