People Skills 101

All the following were taken from a book called How to win friends and influence people, which I read years ago while I was stationed in Korea. Some of the suggestions listed here were edited for grammar or shortened for simplicity and brevity's sake. I will freely admit that I have struggled with living up to many of these suggestions. I'm often too honest for my own good and have had the misfortune of being surrounded by so many very unpleasant individuals. It's hard to maintain a level of civility and professionalism when you're dealing with so many Sierra Bravos and Blue Falcons.

FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE

- People are not Creatures of Logic, no matter how much you wish they were. (A sad fact that leaves all of us Aspies in eternal dismay...)

- Harsh criticism puts people on the defensive. Be constructive in your remarks.

- Speak ill of no one, speak all the good of everyone possible.

- Don't criticize, condemn or complain.

- Give honest and sincere appreciation.

- Arouse in the other person an ‘eager want.’ (i.e. Sell your idea to them, make them want to follow your lead wherever it goes, etc.)

SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU

- Become genuinely interested in other people.

- Smile. (Not necessarily impossible for Aspies but, also something we need to consciously focus on when the rest of the world does it without a single thought.)

- Remember that someone's name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. (I've got this one down...)

- Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

- Sincerely make the other person feel important.

HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING

- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid having the argument. (True.)

- Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say 'You're wrong.'

- Quickly and emphatically admit it if you're wrong.

- Begin in a friendly way.

- Immediately get the other person saying 'yes, yes.'

- Let the other person do a lot of the talking and just listen.

- Let the other person think the idea is theirs.

- Sincerely try to see things from the other person's point of view.

- Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.

- Appeal to the nobler motives.

- Dramatize your ideas.

- Throw down the proverbial gauntlet and challenge people to better themselves and excel.

BE A LEADER: HOW TO CHANGE PEOPLE WITHOUT GIVING OFFENSE OR AROUSING RESENTMENT

- A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior.

- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

- Call attention to people's mistakes in an indirect manner.

- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

- Let the other person save face.

- Praise every improvement, no matter how slight.

- Give the other person a fine reputation to emulate.

- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

- Make the other person enthusiastic to follow your suggestion. (i.e. Sell the idea to them.)

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And there you have it... The methods used by politicians and car salesmen to hoodwink people into doing what they want them to do. :P

- Lord Publius