Saturday, May 30, 2015

How to piss off Feminazis like Anita Sarkeesian without even trying...


To be fair, Samus is pretty hawt... AND a perfect example of an ass-kicking game heroine that's been around since 1986. I wonder why I don't remember seeing anything about Samus in any of the few Feminist Frequency videos that I could stand to watch? Perhaps it's because she doesn't fit the BULLSHIT narrative they are trying to perpetuate with their media spin tactics?

- Lord Publius

Monday, May 25, 2015

How the Establishment Clause eliminates the Gay Marriage debate

I can't believe that I didn't see this before. I'm also surprised that the Supreme Court didn't mention it in any of their rulings on the issue. I'm not at all surprised that the ultra-conservative religious crowd didn't want to mention this in any of their 'public debates' on the subject. I put the words 'public debates' in quotes because the so-called debate on the matter has just devolved into yet another screaming match between Clowns on the Left and Jokers on the Right.

Anyway, I have good news for both queer couples looking for a 'Boston Marriage' and religious nut-jobs alike. You can both have your proverbial wedding cake and eat it too. (And honestly, who doesn't just love wedding cake? It's delicious!)

This whole issue was already solved a long time ago. Specifically, it was solved by President George Washington and his Congress back in 1791 when they passed the Bill of Rights and made them law. Specifically, it was the First Amendment that serendipitously solved this issue about 200 years before it even became part of the public discourse.

The text of the First Amendment reads as follows:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

I put the first sentence in bold to add emphasis since that line states my entire point. Gay marriage is a social issue, not a political one. The government can't deny gay people from marrying each other based solely on religious right-wingers saying that a verse in Leviticus says Homosexuality is wrong. Therefore, there's no real reason why the government can't pass/modify laws about marriage simply because of a religious objection from church-goin' types. That's the good news for the Homosexuals who think marriage is a good idea. (And sometimes it's not. Be careful with that decision, folks.)

The good news for the Religious crowd is, again, what that establishment clause says:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;

So, even though Uncle Sam can't make a law forbidding gay marriage on religious grounds, they also can't pass a law forcing a church to perform a marriage ceremony for gay couples. Clergymen are still free to politely refuse to perform those ceremonies. And if you do, I personally recommend that you refer them to another clergyman that will or the local Justice of the Peace. That way, assuming they attend services at your church, you might not lose those two homosexuals as congregants.

There. This non-issue is solved. Score yet another one for the truly gifted Founders & Framers. Can we now focus on the much more pressing issues like the non-sensical tax code, pointless perpetual wars and government getting too big for its proverbial britches?

- Lord Publius

Sunday, May 24, 2015

How I conquered TRADOC Part Zero - My Feet Hurt!

Some out there may remember a (not so) little post I did a while back called 17 Reasons why I left the Army. As I'm sure you all remember, the Army left a pretty awful taste in my mouth and made me all too happy to leave. However, it wasn't always such a world-class FUBAR of a situation. There was one unit that I had where things went reasonably well most of the time and where I felt like part of the team. That unit was my unit for Advanced Individual Training at Fort Gordon, GA: Charlie Co. 551st Signal Battalion. Or, C/551 for short.

So, this is the story of how I managed to get through Advanced Individual Training for the United States Army. Some might say that I should include my Basic Combat Training experience at Fort Knox as well. However, I think there are already plenty of those kinds of stories around. There needs to be one for AIT. Hollywood never made a movie about that kind of training and I’d never even heard of it before talking to a recruiter. Therefore, this story must be told. And it will over the course of nine individual blog posts. Yes, it will take that many. This is a long story that takes place over a span of several months. It can't be condensed into one. Besides, it's been a long time since I've done a multi-part series for this blog. That needs to change.

Also, you need not ask much about BCT @ Fort Knox. I can't remember much of it anymore. I think it's a combination of a sub-conscious block, being fatigued/half-asleep through the whole thing and lots of time passing since that experience. AIT, though... Oh, now that is something I will never forget...


Our story starts with my leaving Fort Knox after finishing Basic and arriving at Fort Gordon for AIT. This happened on the Thursday just before the President’s Day weekend in February, 2010. I barely got through Basic. I needed one of my Drill Sergeants to pace me in my run on my last PT Test. I was thankful to Drill Sergeant Nilles for pacing me. I was even more thankful to have Drill Sergeant Genthner as my Senior Drill Sergeant. If I had anyone else, chances are good I wouldn’t have made it through. I hold them both in very high esteem. They will be mentioned again (along with my other Drill Sergeant, DS Ferguson) later in this story.

Anyway, I left Knox and arrived at Gordon in the same day. I arrived fairly late at night and had to take a cab there from Augusta’s very small airport. Once getting there, it took two hours before I was routed to the Headquarters for the 551st Signal Battalion. The Battalion HQ & A Co. was only a few blocks away from the Brigade HQ. Yet, it took the 2 privates driving me there nearly 2 hours to accomplish that simple task. Well, that’s Government employees for you!

So, the four-day weekend for President’s Day had literally just started and I was going to get the weekend off. I had a room to myself in the Alpha Company barracks and was free to roam the post without a Battle Buddy too. That made me happy, despite how on one of those days it actually snowed, in Georgia of all places. I hate Winter. I ran into a few people from my platoon in Basic during that weekend while exploring the post. They showed me around and told me about the company to which I would soon be assigned, C/551.


The Monday following that 4-Day weekend, I began in-processing with C/551. The first NCO’s I met were my Platoon Sergeant, SFC Masse and one of the senior NCO’s of the company, SFC Proctor. Those two were very interesting characters. SFC Proctor even jokingly tried to set me up with someone just because I ‘looked like I needed to get laid.’(If only he knew...) I remember one morning during Company PT he’d even gone far enough to encourage others to help me get laid. He was only joking, though. I’ll talk more about both of them later in this little epic of mine.

1st & 2nd Diagnostic PT tests

After being with the company for a month or so, I was made to take a diagnostic PT test or ‘diag’ as it was called. Neither of them went well. The progress I made on my run time in Basic had virtually evaporated and I was back to running 2 miles in over 20 minutes. The first test’s runtime was 21:24. The second one a week later was 20:24. I had no idea how that happened. I later attributed it to the air being thicker and the terrain being much more flat than Knox. The new company First Sergeant, 1SG Ivey, was there for the 2nd test and saw me come in at such a horrible (and embarrassing) time. He told me to start going to afternoon remedial PT every day. This was also the time when I started to notice severe pain in my feet. When I say ‘severe’, I mean that they felt like they were on fire just by standing in formation at parade rest. That’s where the story starts getting interesting…

'My Feet Hurt!'

If memory serves me correctly, that diag was on a Wednesday. By Friday afternoon of that week, my feet were so messed up that I could barely stand on them. It took everything I had not to scream in pain at some points. Add to that my cynicism and genuine hatred for my job that Basic had engendered and things were about to get nasty...

I had tried and failed to get the attention of an NCO to tell him/her that I was having foot trouble. I was also expected to go to PT that afternoon. I said to myself There is no way in Hell that I’m going to PT today with my feet hurting this bad. Instead of changing clothes, I stayed in formation, reasonably sure I wouldn’t be noticed. I wasn’t the only one who would try to sham that day, even though I was the only one who had a good reason. However, they did come looking for us and I was brought before the 1SG to explain myself. Being in a virulently pissed off mood (and probably a little delirious from pain) I was a little more blunt than I’d originally intended. Here’s how that conversation went…

1SG Ivey: Why are you trying to sham out of PT, Publius?

Me: Well, quite frankly, my feet hurt First Sergeant!

Then, time stood still for what seemed like an eternity. I thought to myself, ‘Publius, that was rude. You know better than to say something like that to him.’ However, this was also a learning experience in a lot of important ways. There were several other NCO’s standing there: my squad leader, SSG Whitman, SFC Proctor and I remember SSG Koceja being there too. I didn’t know him yet but, I would later have him as one of my instructors. He also helped to save my career too. I’ll explain how later in the story.

So, the ‘Quite Frankly’ bomb was dropped. At this point, everyone is shocked, awed and left too stunned to speak for at least a hot minute. I learned a lot about C/551’s NCO’s that afternoon. The First Sergeant was quite surprised. SSG Koceja had a dumbfounded look on his face, assuming he was actually there and my memory isn’t faulty. SSG Whitman just put a hand on my shoulder and lowered his head. His body language just simply said ‘Publius, you just really fucked up…’. SFC Proctor’s reaction was typical for him but, I didn’t know that at the time. I didn’t know him well yet. He went on a tirade to the whole company formation, screaming things like ‘That is NOT the way you do things!’ or something to that effect. I was too angry and in too much pain and discomfort to care at that particular moment. Then, 1SG Ivey finally recovered from the shock enough to respond…

Oh, your feet hurt! My fuckin’ feet hurt a lot when I was in Iraq!” 1SG Ivey replied in an angry tone of voice. I said nothing but thought to myself ‘This ain’t Iraq and there’s no reason to purposely do something that I know will injure me further. I am not getting shot at around here.’ My inner voice wasn’t angry when I had that thought. It was merely my usual, overly analytical tone/mentality reasserting itself after a mild emotional outburst.

The 1SG surprised me with what he said next. His tone and attitude immediately changed. He said, ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have cursed at you like that. Don’t worry, we’ll square you away.’ At that reaction, the only thing I could do was raise an eyebrow like Mr. Spock would whenever something fascinated him. I learned two important things about my new First Sergeant that day. First, he was nothing like the worthless piece of shit excuse for a 1SG that I had in Basic. Second, I could work with this new guy because he actually cared.

The next few minutes involved SSG Whitman (and some of the student leadership) asking me if I needed to go to the emergency room. I settled for going to the TMC on Monday and staying off my feet as much as possible that weekend. That incident became an inside joke between me and the First Sergeant for the rest of the time I was at Fort Gordon. SFC Proctor made a few jokes about it for the next few weeks but, he wasn’t necessarily being funny. However, SFC Proctor and I usually did get along quite well once we got to know each other better.

Anyway, something good did come out of that potential disaster. I never ever had a hard time getting an NCO’s attention again whenever I needed their help. It took mouthing off to a First Sergeant with combat experience (and who also just finished being a Drill Sergeant at Fort Jackson for the previous three years) but, I could get my issues addressed in a timely manner. That would later prove essential. I would often need their direction. In those days, no one knew that I had Asperger's Syndrome. That diagnosis wouldn't be made until I was at my first duty assignment in the operational force, (Camp Stanley, Korea), for about 6 months.

And if any of you think this is the end of me acting strangely and definitely not like a typical soldier while assigned to C/551, then, you are quite wrong. This is only the beginning of a tale that even I can't fully believe. Hang on to your butts, 'cause this is gonna be one hell of a wild ride!

- Lord Publius

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Love and Marriage don't seem to be in my foreseeable future

This post might be depressing in some places but, the video at the end might make a few people laugh.

I have to put any aspirations for romance on hold for a few reasons. Here's why...

1.) I'm financially struggling right now and women don't want a guy that's in any perceivable danger, either real or imagined, of going broke.

It's a temporary situation but, it's also looking pretty bad right now. I don't want to drag anyone else into this mess.

2.) I have no idea how the dating scene works when you're in your 30's.

Truth be told, I had no idea how it worked at any other age, either. Yet another social problem that can be attributed to that supposedly 'mild' case of Asperger's... Dammit...

3.) No single friends or friends that know anyone single...

Except maybe one single female friend who shall go un-named. However, I am not sure if that person is a good match for me or not. She's pretty but, also tends to let feelings override intellect too much. That could lead to really bad decisions on her part, like voting for Democrats. That person has no idea that I had given some thought to asking her out. I have no idea if she ever reads this blog. I am sure she's aware of it since she has to see the numerous times that entries from it were posted on my Facebook page.

I probably don't want to be 'helped' by friends in this area, either. Whenever I asked for help, the results were always terrible. It also showed me that some of those people were not really my friends at all and were really quite toxic. I have so many horror stories I could tell...

So, they got the boot and I became that much more lonely in life. That's too bad but, no one said that life would be all fun and games...

And so many of the Toxic People I'm thinking of right now were people I knew in the Army. Ain't that sad?
Not every friend that I asked for help turned out to be an asshole. Not all of them tried to force me to go along with what they liked or the kind of woman they thought I deserved. However, the ones I did ask for help that avoided doing those things didn't help me at all. They wished me well but, also made it clear that they couldn't help. I certainly appreciate the honesty and their not being an asshole. However, it would be nice if they had a cute Redhead friend they could set me up with...

For example...

4.) Modern-day Feminism poisoned the proverbial well and made women think that men were all rapists, misogynists and/or assholes of one kind or another.

And any of you women out there that think 'I don't need no man', well, you're wrong. You need us to have a baby, right? Wouldn't you also want us to stick around and help raise that baby too? You are part of a very social species and need companionship just as much as any of us men do.

And that leads us to...

5.) It seems virtually impossible to find anyone of marriageable age that doesn't have kids already. WTF?

Yet another result of Feminism turning evil and putting bad ideas in people's heads. There's a reason why having out-of-wedlock children is frowned upon, ladies. It shows a LOT of irresponsibility on your part. Yes, I know the sex drive is very strong but, you have to be stronger. That is part of what separates Humans from all the other animal species. It's also part of what constitutes a responsible adult. Whether it's a love child or the product of a previous marriage, I do not want to raise someone else's children.

I suppose there's nothing wrong with adopting a child, if you want. However, I would rather not. Kids are an enormous burden on one's finances.They also require you to spend your whole life catering to their needs. If I must spend my life catering to a child's needs, I prefer it to be my own child. Or, at least a niece or nephew... Also, sooner or later, the adopted kid will become a little smart ass and start using the 'you're not my real father' line of reasoning and I'll have to shut them down. It would go something like this...

Kid: You're not my real father!

Me: O'rly? Then where is that deadbeat? I have one hell of a bill for him. I'm the one who's been paying your way all these years. I gave you discipline, an education and a home. I actually fulfilled his responsibilities to you because, apparently, your mama thought he was a piece of shit. Since he isn't here raising you himself, I think she's probably right. So, tell me little one. Who is your 'real' father? The bum that provided half of your DNA or the man that actually takes care of you?

While everything I'd say in that scenario is true, it wouldn't make the child feel any better or make them more compliant.

Besides, raising kids that are genetically yours has a lot of advantages. Since they are basically a miniature version of yourself, you (sometimes) know what to expect. That isn't the case when dealing with someone else's child. Also, I don't want someone else raising my children. None of them are likely to be equipped to deal with a child that was born to be a Mad Scientist. However, I do know. They are essentially young clones of myself. Who better to deal with the little (potential) monsters than the Mad Scientist who created them? (Muhuhahahaha...)

Still sure that you don't mind raising someone else's children?

6.) Thanks to talking point #4 and some really screwy divorce laws, marriage may not even be in my best interest anymore. Thanks a lot, Feminazi's and Politicians that listen to them...

Marriage was ruined for us guys by making it something that could end at ANY time for virtually any reason. Even worse, we also end up losing our money, house, car and almost any rights/access to our own children. If I wanted to take those kinds of expensive risks on a woman, I'll just go shack up with a 'professional partner' in Las Vegas. It would be a LOT cheaper and probably a lot more fun.

I swear, it's enough to make a guy intensely cynical. Cynical enough to make joke videos for YouTube about the subject...

I made this video a few years ago when I was stationed in Korea. It was only a joke then but, now... I don't know anymore. I don't have a negative opinion of marriage. However, I do genuinely love carving people's sacred cows into steaks. So, yeah... :P

- Lord Publius

Monday, May 18, 2015

Strange gaming-related dreams

I had the strangest dream. In the dream, I was playing some bizarre form of the old video game Paperboy​. However, the paperboy was pedaling in a driveway that was constantly shifting on some kind of conveyer belt instead of down a street.

After completing the level (complete with obstacle course), the next thing I saw was a cut-scene with the Paperboy riding his bike into some guy's den/man cave/whatever while that guy is yelling at him. The Paperboy then sat down and started playing an Atari 2600.

I know dreams are just the mind's way of processing things that the conscious self can't/won't handle but, why did I have a dream like this one? Weird...

- Lord Publius

Sunday, May 17, 2015

25 pieces of good life advice, in no particular order

1.) Don't waste time.

2.) Mind your own business.

3.) Stay out of trouble.

4.) Maintain your composure and self-control.

5.) Don't associate with people who don't have self-control.

6.) Be the better person and learn to forgive.

7.) Always be fair to other people, including your enemies.

8.) The way you act defines what you are to other people. Be mindful of this, lest you earn a bad reputation. Your reputation is important.

9.) Be charitable, where possible.

10.) You are your highest moral authority. If an action will cause you guilt, do not commit that act.

11.) You reap what you sow.

12.) Women have power. Associate only with those who have good character and do not abuse this power.

13.) What people think of you in High School does not matter in the real world among adults.

14.) A family is a team. Work together for the benefit of all.

15.) Respect commands loyalty.

16.) Be loyal to those who have earned such loyalty.

17.) Money isn't everything in life. It is only a tool to acquire the things you need or want out of life.

18.) Your possessions should NOT end up owning you.

19.) Be polite but, honest.

20.) Words have power. Be VERY careful with what you say.

21.) People will remember what you say. Do not lie or speak ill of anyone.

22.) Practice self-discipline.

23.) NEVER give government any unnecessary power.

24.) Don't make promises you can't keep.

25.) Extraordinary claims require extraordinary supporting evidence that stands up to scrutiny. NEVER believe anything blindly without examination.

- Lord Publius

Monday, May 11, 2015

The Truth About Gingers (Video)

1 or 2% of the global population? I thought it was 4%..

Either way Flame-tressed lasses of the world, I would be happy to help you add to those numbers. ;)

- Lord Publius

Friday, May 8, 2015

On this day in History (May 8th)

May 8th is a pretty interesting day in Human History...

1541 – Hernando de Soto reaches the Mississippi River and names it Río de Espíritu Santo.

1846 – Mexican–American War: The Battle of Palo Alto: Zachary Taylor defeats a Mexican force north of the Rio Grande in the first major battle of the war.

1861 – American Civil War: Richmond, Virginia is named the capital of the Confederate States of America.

1884 – Harry S. Truman, 33rd President of the United States is born.

1886 – Pharmacist John Pemberton first sells a carbonated beverage named "Coca-Cola" as a patent medicine.

1912 – Paramount Pictures is founded.

1919 – Edward George Honey proposes the idea of a moment of silence to commemorate the Armistice of World War I.

1942 – World War II: The Battle of the Coral Sea comes to an end. American carrier USS Lexington is lost but, the battle was still a strategic victory for the Allies. This battle halted Japan's advance and damaged several of their carriers, keeping those carriers from participating in The Battle of Midway about a month later.

1945 – World War II: V-E Day, combat ends in Europe when Nazi Germany's leader, Admiral Karl Dönitz of the Kriegsmarine, signs an unconditional surrender. President Truman would call this day his favorite birthday ever because of the war in Europe coming to an end.

1970 – The Beatles release Let It Be in the United States.

1976 – The rollercoaster Revolution, the first steel coaster with a vertical loop, opens at Six Flags Magic Mountain.

1980 – The World Health Organization confirms the eradication of smallpox, thanks to vaccines.

1994 - The Greater New Orleans area suffers the worst flooding not caused by a Hurricane in its history.

- Lord Publius