When gaming goes VERY wrong...

Sometimes, gaming can get out of hand. Let it get too out of hand and it will drive away females.

I saw this in a Facebook post earlier today and got permission to repost it here. The individual who authored this piece is an old Army buddy of mine. Knowing what I know about some of you gamers out there, I don't think this story is all that unique...



For 3 years, I was in a relationship with "C." For 2 of those years, life was pretty good.

Then, for the final year, he suddenly became obsessed with gaming. Table-top, role-playing, video, everything except board games. Now don't get me wrong, I love my D&D as much as any other red-blooded American, but C's new obsession went to some pretty ridiculous lengths. I was expected to roll with the punches, and for the first few months of this I really tried.

"Friends" started showing up unannounced, and it's not that they were bad people in of themselves but showing up for gaming sessions literally EVERY OTHER DAY was getting fucking old. They would leave their food wrappers and containers everywhere, and C refused to clean them up: It got so bad that one of our neighbors complained about insects in the building (as well as the smell of rotting food.) He started losing hours at his job, then I'm pretty sure he lost it entirely: So guess who's got two thumbs and had to take on a second job to cover BOTH OF OUR rent? This bitch.

Any time I brought up my concerns with C, or made efforts to forbid gaming in the house entirely, he basically threw a tantrum and blamed ME for the state of things. I told him to take his games elsewhere, or at least to clean up after each session, and my requests were repeatedly ignored. On one occasion, he told his friends they could have a session at our apartment without my foreknowledge or consent: He had left the door unlocked for them, I came home from a long day at my primary job to find the lot of them sitting at MY TABLE and already leaving wrappers on MY FLOOR. Again, somehow my fucking fault that they made a mess.

The last straw came when C, knowing full well that I had been working double shifts to cover ALL of our household expenses, woke me up at 0200 because he wanted me to go to L.L. Bean in Freeport with him to buy one very specific thing. It was something small and probably could have been ordered through their catalog. We fought and argued all the way there, in the store, and all the way home. I dumped him that night.

I had already met someone else. (EDITOR'S NOTE: She's speaking of her husband here. I removed his name for privacy and anonymity.)

So in his grief, he spent a month in Italy while I packed my things: Even though for the previous 4 months of us living together, C made a myriad of excuses as to why he didn't have money for his share of the rent or bills (but could somehow afford a month-long trip to Italy?)

I also made it clear to C that under no circumstances were his gaming buddies to come over without an invitation from me personally, or the police would be called and they would be removed.

A few months after I moved out, C apparently completely trashed the place so badly that our former landlord sued him for damages: Allegedly, C blamed ME for that shit-show, too. Nope, he lost. He didn't just lose, according to those close to me C rolled a pretty long string of 1's and the judge mopped the floor with him. I didn't even find out about any of that until I was deployed!

I have no idea where C is or what became of him, and quite frankly I don't really care to. I don't wish him any harm, but I don't exactly spend any sleepless nights wondering "what could have been." Nope, it took me way too long to realize that C no longer wanted to be in a relationship: C wanted a second mother.

And y'all know how I feel about being a mother: Ain't gonna fuck'n happen. (EDITOR'S NOTE: Original author decided as a teenager not to have children.)

I'm completely okay with being the "Bread-Winner" in a relationship, as long as there is some kind of mutual effort and respect there. There's a world of difference between a domestic partner and a damn parasite.

C became a parasite, and it didn't end well for him.

Don't be a C.

A lesson in morals...

A LESSON IN MORALS

One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.

Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."

When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."

Little Lucy went next. "My dad owns a farm too. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched."

Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story. Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."

Next up was little Johnny. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets. So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."

The teacher looked a little shocked. After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story.

"Well," Johnny replied, "Don't mess with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking..."

Constitution Day

On this day in 1787, the Constitutional Convention concluded and presented their results to the States for Ratification.

After being ratified by a majority of the States in 1788, the Constitution became the law of the land in 1789. By 1790, the two remaining States to not ratify it beforehand, Rhode Island and North Carolina, finally ratified the document as well.

The document was controversial at first, especially in New York. In response, New York's delegates (John Jay, James Madison and Alexander Hamilton) wrote 85 newspaper editorials extolling the document's virtues to the citizens using the sobriquet 'Publius'. These editorials have since become known as the Federalist Papers. Those papers have also been quite informative to numerous SCOTUS decisions since then, often cited as evidence of the Framers' original intent/interpretation of Constitutional Law.

The document was quickly amended by the first Congress and President Washington with the first 10 Amendments in 1791. This had the effect of both codifying a citizen's rights into law and addressing the concerns of the Anti-Federalist movement.

References:

U.S. Constitution - Archives.gov

https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/constitution

U.S. Constitution - Wikipedia.org

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Constitution

U.S. Constitution - White House.gov

https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600/constitution

U.S. Constitution - Government Publishing Office

https://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/CDOC-110hdoc50/pdf/CDOC-110hdoc50.pdf

The Bill of Rights - Archives.org

https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/bill-of-rights

Amendments 11-27 - Archives.org

https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/amendments-11-27

The Federalist Papers - Congress.gov
https://www.congress.gov/resources/display/content/The+Federalist+Papers

Anti-Federalist Papers - The Federalist Papers.org

http://thefederalistpapers.org/anti-federalist-papers

Constitution Day

http://www.constitutionday.com/

Publius Valerius Publicola - Wikipedia.org

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Publius_Valerius_Publicola

Contact Cleaner is a Retro-Gamer's best friend

I once had a box with 78 (seemingly) dead Atari 2600 cartridges in my possession. Using Isopropyl Alcohol and/or 409 on the cartridge contacts didn't get them to work again. So, I picked up some electrical contact cleaner from Home Depot and decided to use that instead. I had heard about a name brand contact cleaner called DeoxIT from a popular YouTube channel called John's Arcade. John routinely used the stuff to clean electrical contacts inside of arcade games and pinball tables that he would service, repair and restore. Home Depot didn't have the DeoxIT brand, just some generic looking product from a company called CRC. I bought a can anyway because I figured that I had nothing to lose if the cartridges were indeed actually dead.

Thankfully, at least some of these carts were not dead. Of the 78 total, I have managed to get 41 cartridges working again. That brings my overall count of working cartridges for Atari 2600 to a whopping 225. That puts it way in the lead fot system with the most individual titles. The closest second would be the NES at 146. I find this to be rather amazing and impressive.

I haven't given up on the cartridges that still don't work. Some of them couldn't be cleaned and then re-tested because of a small plastic door in the cartridge shell that protects the contacts/circuit board from the outside world. The 2600 console can push that plastic shield back but, my fingers can't. Also, I don't want to try to take these old cartridges apart because that would ruin the labels. A lot of those games already have really bad labels right now. No need for me to make that worse. Besides, I may not be able to get them back together again in quite the right way. I have no trouble taking apart cartridges for Nintendo systems but, I've never done it with an Atari cartridge before.

Here's a picture of the 2 shelves that I now have holding loose Atari 5200 games. The one on the left used to hold them all but, it's now completely filled with 200 of them. Another 11 loose carts are on the top shelf of the small shelf to the right. The other 14 carts I have for the Atari 2600 are in boxes on another shelf or on two display easels on top of the shelves picture here. Those games on the display easels are Battlezone and Solaris for Atari 2600, Asteroids for Atari 7800 and Alien vs. Predator the Jaguar.

Yes, I know there are a LOT of duplicates. That happens when you acquire old Atari games in bulk from garage sales...
And retro game stores looking to clear out inventory...

I decided to use the contact cleaner on another few problem cartridges as well, this time for the Atari 5200 and Jaguar.

The 4 Jaguar games that I cleaned now work like new. Now I can play Wolfenstein 3d, Club Drive, Checkered Flag and a 2nd copy of Tempest 2000 again! Yay! I might even write reviews for these titles some day. All of them are pretty unique titles that you won't find anywhere else. The Jag version of Wolf3d was very different from all the others. Also, despite Checkered Flag being released on the Atari Lynx in 1991, the 1994 Jaguar version is a completely different experience.

The 2 carts for the 5200 though, still don't work. One tried and did get to the start-up screen but, always had display errors and never passed that screen. Looking at the contacts on those 2 problem carts, I can see a fair amount of corrosion that the quick once-over with the contact cleaner didn't remove. I'll have to work on them a little more at a later date. That being said, getting the 5200 carts to work again would be purely academic. Like many 5200 owners, I don't have any working controllers for that system. :P

So, for my final verdict, I'd say that contact cleaner is well worth having around in one's game room. Isopropyl Alcohol usually works fine but, it's good to have a cleaning product that's industrial strength as well. Considering how terrible all of those old 2600 carts looked before I started this experiment, I'm genuinely amazed that ANY of them started working again.

- Publius

Feminist Bakesale

Strolling through college campus unaccompanied as I often do. Not worried about being harassed or raped because I am a man. See group of young ladies struggling to set up a folding table. Two strong women have extended the legs and are trying to flip the table upright.

I approach them uninvited and say hello.

One flees, triggered.

"Let me help with that, girls..." I easily flip the table upright with my masculine strength.

Now upright, I can see the sign taped to the table top. FEMINIST BAKESALE.

I give a low-pitched chuckle with my testosterone privileged vocal cords.

"So you girls have been busy in the kitchen, heh? What did you bake?" One strong woman stands with a box to rest on the table. Her eyes are welled with tears at the oppression she is suffering at that moment. "C-cupcakes", she says.

"I love cupcakes! Let me see what you have there..." I reach my phallic hand over and open the virginal box this poor woman was holding, my male gaze objectifying the cupcakes.

"Oh those look good. How much?" Another strong woman speaks up, images of Susan B. Anthony flashing in her head. "They're a Dollar for men because of the corrupt patria--" I stop her short in a textbook case of verbal rape.

"That sounds fine. Give me the whole box." I pull out a capitalist paper bill with the image of a Cis White Male Slave-owner on the front. The strong woman before me whimpers in psychic pain as I hand the bill to her, knowing she has been reduced to a slave -- nay -- a commodity.

"Thank you" she says meekly, feeling violated. I give a sensual grunt as I bite into one of the sweet, moist cupcakes.

"Mmmm..." I replied. "It was my privilege."


ORIGINAL AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Strange Dreams

I had a particularly interesting nightmare in my last sleep cycle. For whatever reason, I was at the Esplanade Mall in Kenner (Yes, the same one I talked about in the last post) doing some people watching and interacting with real-life friends. I should have known it was just a dream right then and there because one was a High School classmate and the other was an Army buddy. Those two have never met in real life. That, and having significant crowds at a shopping mall these days is kind a weird in and of itself. Especially since it's not Christmas yet...

Anyway, I decide to ditch the line for some (apparently) really popular night club that was there called 'Club Disney.' Yes, it was based on the cartoons and films of the Disney corporation. No, there weren't any people dressed in costumes made the resemble Disney characters. As I'm walking back to the main hallway of the mall, an announcement comes onto the PA system. A voice announces that a small nuclear device had just detonated in New Orleans and we were being told to evacuate the mall. (Nevermind the fact that it probably would have been better to shelter in place until the radiation blew away...) We were then told to avoid any clouds that left a brown shadow on the ground because that was radiation from the bomb. We were also told those brown clouds would cause instant death. Yes, I know that's not how fallout radiation actually works but, that is what happened in the dream.

So, I start booking it for the exit, fighting crowds, Once outside, I start dodging the brown clouds and seeing people not getting out of the way in time. Almost instantly, those poor souls looked like leftovers that just got nuked in the microwave. I make it to my truck and hop inside just before a brown cloud passes VERY close to the vehicle. I then crank the engine and haul ass out of there, possibly hitting a few people in the process. That is where the dream ends.

That is easily the scariest dream I've had in a few weeks. I thought that dream I had about 2 weeks ago with a Xenomorph chasing Sonic the Hedgehog was weird but, this one is sooooo much more messed up...

- Lord Publius

How to revitalize a dead shopping mall...

I've been  watching a lot of videos on YouTube lately about shopping malls and once great retailers (K-Mart, SEARS, et al.) all shutting down or dying on the vine. There's no way to save them all. Most of them screwed themselves out of business one way or another and if they didn't, Amazon sure did. So, I got to thinking about what could be done with that kind of real-estate. For the purposes of this idea, I used a local mall in my hometown that has been slowly dying for years: The Esplanade in Kenner, LA. Here's what I would do in 12 easy steps...

1.) Win Mega Millions OR Powerball Lottery & buy mall from current owners.

2.) Tell most of the current tenants that their leases will not be renewed and hire an architect/contractor to begin the planned remodel/redesign.

3.) Close the place down, except for the Target location there. You'll see why in #6.

4.) Turn stores on the 2nd floor into condos, except for the one-time GameStop location turned overpriced retro game store called Just4Play (assuming it still exists), the Arcade and food court.

5.) Turn stores on 1st floor into office space, preferably for businesses that the condo owners will use. (Barbershops, Dollar Tree, pharmacy, Insurance Agents, et al.)

6.) Use the Target being right next door as a selling point for the condominiums.

7.) The old Gamestop location on the 2nd floor near the food court & Arcade becomes the office for mall security. The Arcade remains an Arcade, but is reserved for residents of the condominiums. Condo residents will all be given a special key to access the Arcade. We may also set some (or all) of the games to free play. Food court is open to both residents and businesses on 1st floor. The movie theater behind the mall will remain open to the public and unaffected by changes at the mall.

8.) Fence off all of the parking lots, except the one by the anchor store that was once Macy's. That one will be used by the businesses on the 1st floor and their customers. The others will be reserved for residents and employees of the property management company. Each spot will be numbered and assigned to condo residents. They will be able to pay a small fee to get a closer spot to the main building. We will also probably have to build a parking garage.

9.) Turn one of the now closed anchor stores (preferably the old Dillard's location) into my Secret Hideout/Mad Scientist Laboratory/Super-villain lair... (Y'all had to know this was going to happen.)

10.) Turn the other anchor stores into more office space and/or long-term storage facilities that are open to the businesses and condo residents that have rented/leased/bought into the property.

11.) Zombie-proof the place, just in case the Zombie Apocalypse isn't complete non-sense...

12.) HOPEFULLY turn a profit.

And that's my idea. It probably wouldn't work but, it sure would be hilarious to see actually happen.

- Lord Publius