Sunday, December 20, 2015

How to deal with Sierra Bravos in 4 easy steps

DISCLAIMER: Taking advice on how to handle social situations from an Aspie is bound to cause great misadventure. Handle with care. Also, Sierra Bravo = military slang for 'Shit Bag'.

1.) Start with a breakfast of whiskey and bacon. Breakfast is, after all, the most important meal of the day.

2.) Proceed further with a LOT of verbal diarrhea that shocks the Sierra Bravo into stunned silence.

3.) Next, threaten to do something truly horrible to their soul (stealing it or molesting in front of their entire family would work great in this case) while pointing a Knife hand at them.

4.) Finally, finish it up with calling them a Fucker and walking away like nothing happened.

Those toxic people will never bother you again.  

- Publius

Monday, December 14, 2015

Autism being caused by pregnant women using anti-depressants?

An Army buddy posted something on her FB page that grabbed my attention earlier tonight. It was a story about a study claiming pregnant women on Anti-depressants are 87% more likely to have an autistic child. You can read the actual study here.

Being a Mad Scientist of sorts (and natural Bullshit detector), I have a few concerns with what I just read in this article...

1.) "certain socio-economic factors such as being exposed to poverty" is one of their 'factors' with known links to autism? Since when do economics have ANYTHING at all to do with a most-likely genetic issue? Can someone explain that to me? It seems like a pretty strange thing to associate with pre-natal health. (Please note that I am NOT a medical doctor and my knowledge of medicine is severely limited compared to other sciences like Physics.)

2.) "The rise in autism can also be explained by the increased detection and widening of the diagnostic criteria over the past decade."

BINGO!!! They've found the (all too obvious) answer! Autism has always been part of the Human genome in one way or another. Society just didn't notice any of them except for the severely autistic people they used to simply label as 'retarded'. You can also attribute that change in diagnostic criteria to the seeming 'rise' in autism rates. It is NOT caused by a vaccine. I don't care what a C-list celebrity like Jenny McCarthy says.

3.) "Each study is observational because randomized controlled trials are not ethically possible during pregnancy. Hence, each study is describing an association."

I saw this coming from a mile away. Human trials are pretty dangerous and highly regulated by government for a good reason. (i.e. the Tuskegee experiments.) Observation alone does not usually answer these kind of scientific questions. There will have to be some kind of experiment sooner or later... How someone would conduct such an experiment though, is currently beyond me. I doubt this is a type of medical experiment that could be conducted on laboratory mice. Although, autism experiments on lab mice might explain Pinky from Pinky and the Brain. Narf! :P

- Lord Publius

Friday, December 11, 2015

A Mobster's Letter to Santa...

Dear Santa Claus,

It has been brought to my attention by one of my operatives that you've secured for yourself (and your interests) a very lucrative position in the toy and game industry. Normally, my associates and I would not involve ourselves in child exploitation schemes such as yours. However, it is quite clear that you're cutting into my family's territories. This encroachment is something that you cannot be allowed to do.

Mr. Claus, we have known each other for many years. We have never had a problem with your operations in the North Pole. However, my consigliere is now telling me that you've expanded your operations to the north side, south side and pretty much EVERYWHERE but the Jewish neighborhoods.

I understand, Mr. Kringle. We both share many interests. We both make lists. We both know who's been naughty and who's been nice. Have I mentioned that red is also one of my favorite colors?

When you make your rounds this year, please stop by the house for a cup of coffee and some cookies, so we can discuss an offer I know you won't refuse. (I know how much you love cookies.) And while you're here, you can also explain why I never got that Super Nintendo that I wanted for Christmas as a child. I begged for one for (at least) 4 years in a row and never got one. I am sure you will also remember that I was a very good boy all those years. None of the charges brought against me ever stuck in court since the witnesses kept changing their stories. (Or disappearing...)

I am sure you will grant this small favor out of respect. However, I would be remiss if I didn't remind you of the tragic demise of our mutual friend and confidante, Mr. Frosty T. Snowman. Regretfully, it became necessary to teach Frosty a lesson. And it would also be most unfortunate if, one day, you woke up with the heads of eight tiny reindeer in bed with you.

Sincerely, and with warmest wishes for the lovely Mrs. Claus,


Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Autism being caused by Vaccinations is BULLSHIT.

Hard to imagine that the dead form of  Measles, Mumps or Rubella (which is what is in a MMR vaccine) could somehow...

A.) Rework all of your neurological wiring...

B.) Alter the physiological structure of your brain...

C.) Re-write your DNA...

...and all these other seemingly magical things that dead viruses would have to do in order to make a neuro-typical child into an Autistic or Aspie. Sadly though, that is what some people believe.

It's easy to understand why. The parents are, as usual, acting out of emotion rather than logic. They are wondering how such a thing happened to them. Saying 'possible genetic factors and bad luck' isn't enough for them. I can't say that I blame them on that one. So, they go looking for whatever they can find that might have led to things going awry. Then, they remember that the child was developing normally until they had that vaccination...

Well, actually folks, little Johnny wasn't developing normally at all. You just didn't notice because you weren't paying as close attention to him as you did after the shot. Parents naturally worry about adverse effects from shots so, they pay closer attention and start noticing strange things they didn't notice before. It never occurs to them that those factors and quirks in Johnny's behaviors were already there. It's also quite difficult to tell the difference between a NT child and an Autistic one until about age 3 when they should be starting to speak regularly and walk on their own.

The parents also don't remember one of the most important rules of Science: CORRELATION DOES NOT EQUATE TO CAUSATION.

There are some dangers for some people who will have bad reactions to certain vaccines. That's why there are multiple different vaccines for most illnesses that were inoculated against long ago and special vaccine courts to sue drug companies. However, if you genuinely believe that a MMR vaccine (or any vaccine really) can cause neurological disorders, then you must have flunked High School Biology.  No virus or vaccine can possibly alter Human DNA in that way or the brain's physiological structure.

Whatever does cause Autism and Asperger's Syndrome is still a mystery. And that mystery would be solved a LOT faster if Scientists didn't have to CONSTANTLY debunk stupid bullshit like this prevailing myth. Vaccines have been the greatest public health advance in history, next to soap. If you're going to tell me that they are somehow bad, you better have some really solid supporting evidence that stands up to scrutiny.

- Lord Publius