Saturday, October 12, 2013

Various Trek-related things on my mind...

A.) Kirk vs. Riker is a better match than Kirk vs. Picard.

After all, Riker is supposed to be the TNG crew's equivalent to Kirk. That's the fight that we all should be clamoring to see.

Besides, we all know what would happen if Kirk and Picard ever met on the field of battle. It would go something like this...

1.) Picard tries to negotiate. Kirk just punches him in the nose and knocks him to the ground.

2.)  Jean-Luc starts to sob like a stereotypical sissy Frenchman while Dr. Crusher beams down to wipe his nose for him.

3.) Kirk sees an opportunity to put another notch in his belt and proceeds to lay the classic Kirk moves (especially his trademark impish grin) on Beverly until she's putty in his hands.

4.) Jean-Luc continues to cry like a little bitch while his dream woman lets Starfleet's most legendary Lothario boldly go where he never got to go before.

5.) Picard, despite being humiliated, takes mental notes. He might be able to use some of those smooth 23rd Century moves on someone more willing, like Vash. :P

Don't let this fool you, dear reader. I do like Captain Picard very much. I grew up watching TNG in its original run from 1987-1994. However, when it comes to kicking ass and taking names, you should accept no substitutes. James Tiberius Kirk is your man. That is, unless you're fighting the Borg, then Picard magically develops some testicular fortitude and turns into the ultimate Starfleet Warrior... Or, Captain Sisko. My boy Benjamin don't play. I wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of his Phaser Rifle. He's got some anger issues, mang...

B.) What would have happened if the crew couldn't save Picard from the Borg and Riker took over as the new permanent Captain of the Enterprise?

According to popular myth, The Best of Both Worlds was written that way so that Picard could be written out of the show. It was still uncertain if Patrick Stewart was going to renew his contract. The cast and crew have flatly denied this story over the years. Either way, I am glad that he stayed on the show. However, it would have also been quite interesting to see Riker as the Captain too.

C.) Speaking of the Borg, why didn't Sisko go along with Worf on the Defiant to help defend Sector 001 during the 2nd Borg incursion of 2373?

Lord knows he'd have quite an axe to grind against those cybernetic bastards after they killed his wife at Wolf 359. Just think how awesome it could have been to have Sisko in First Contact as well. That would have made an already awesome movie even more awesome. Yes, I do believe that such a thing is possible. Can you imagine the way Sisko would interact with the Borg Queen? I sure can...

SISKO: Oh, so you're the Bitch that got my wife killed?

BORG QUEEN: How dare you speak to me that way, you weak, organic cre-- *Phaser Blast to the face*

SISKO: I swear some villains just talk too damned much...

PICARD: Don't you think that was a bit excessive, Captain?

SISKO: No.

PICARD: You know, we could have taken her prisoner and extracted information out of... *loses breath when Sisko points Phaser at him*

SISKO: Don't think for one minute that I forgot about YOUR role in what happened at Wolf 359, Locutus.

PICARD: Point taken.

D.) Why did Voyager always look pristine again with each new episode, no matter how much of a beating it took in the previous episode?

2 possible reasons:

1.) The captain ordered the engineers/maintenance people to keep Voyager looking pristine no matter what, as a matter of Starfleet pride. The damage suffered was still there, just not immediately visible. The ship might have also developed a few regeneration abilities in some areas after 7 of 9 outfitted Voyager with some Borg technology in the 2 part episode Scorpion.

2.) If they did let the ship stay damaged from one episode to another, it would have been difficult (if not impossible) to use the stock footage that SFX-laden TV shows depend on to stay under budget.

That's all for now...

- Lord Publius

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