Hilariously Controversial Opinions

And now, to test people's loyalty/limits by expressing opinions that are bound to entertain and/or piss them off... :P

1.) The Death Penalty is BULLSHIT.

2.) This 'Autism Spectrum' is also BULLSHIT. Comparing an Aspie, who's usually just the weird kid in class, to someone with Classical Autism will NEVER be anything but a logical fallacy. Aspies can learn to function in society. A Classical Autistic will be lucky if they can learn to read and write their own name.

3.) If you are trying to sell your old video games to someone, don't expect to get anywhere near what you paid for them. Even if they are rare, that does not mean that they are as highly prized as a night of passion with the woman of your dreams. In fact, old games are like any other collectible commodity: They are only worth what someone is willing to pay for them. Besides, game collecting is usually for nostalgia purposes. Most of those old games don't age very well...

4.) Women are like Bacon. They look good, smell good and taste good... and slowly kill the men that love them. Despite that, I still can't get enough Bacon. :P

5.) Fake Tits are BULLSHIT, unless the woman getting them is having the surgery to correct serious deformities or replacing tissue removed in a mastectomy. No, I don't care if having a small bustline makes you feel insecure as a woman. I can promise you that having large bags of saline or silicone stuffed into your chest is not going to get rid of those insecurities. Learn to love yourself and then someone will actually be able to love you. Besides, not all guys care about bust size. Some prefer that you be packin' some heat in them jeans, girl. Why did you think the phrase 'Dat Ass' actually existed? My Anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hun! (Yes, I did just shamelessly rip off Sir Mix-A-Lot. The brotha had a damned good point.)

6.) Criminalizing Prostitution is also BULLSHIT. All it does is make it possible for violent Pimps to practically enslave some poor Hooker, steal her money and beat the shit out of her. Not only does that sound much like what the Feds do to the American Taxpayer but, it also sounds like a good blog topic... Also, I am not the least bit interested in screwing Hookers. Why pay for it when there are plenty of good sluts giving it away for free? :)

7.) I don't care if Marijuana is legal. It won't make me want to smoke the shit...

8.) I don't care if the Government legalizes Gay Marriage. Churches are not going to be required to recognize the marriages as valid. That would be a violation of their Freedom to practice their religion under the 1st Amendment to the United States Constitution. That being said, Homosexuals probably didn't really need to push for Gay Marriage to be legalized in most cases. Ever heard of a civil union? It accomplishes many (if not all) of the things they were trying to get from being able to marry and the religious nuts won't give a shit about them. They would view it as a legal contract because that is all they are... (This would also make a good blog topic...)

9.) I used to think that H. L. Mencken was very cynical. Now, I'm starting to wonder if he was a freakin' Nostradamus. His expressed opinions on the Media and Government were quite chillingly accurate to today's sad state of affairs... Or, is the current state of the Media pretty much the same as it always has been? Either scenario is pretty scary...

10.) If you get elected to public office, you should accept the fact that you are going to be thought of and treated like an ASSHOLE. You should also accept the fact that you probably deserve it since some of your decisions are bound to have some very negative consequences for someone. That someone most likely did NOT deserve to be bothered/burdened with your Bullshit, either. And that is the reason why I am so hesitant to run for public office, despite so many people asking me to do so over the years... (Yes, I know. I think they're all crazy too... :P)

11.) I believe the money I make is mine and should be used to take care of me and my family. It does not belong to some idiot bureaucrat that wants to give it to some welfare recipients squirting out Crack Babies. Besides, the 'War on Poverty' failed. There is still just as many people in poverty now as there was in 1964 when that waste of tax dollars began. The problem is not based on economic disparities. It's a social issue based on some people either having very bad luck or just being stupid. That will never go away. Like a Jewish Carpenter friend of mine once said, the Poor will always be with us.

12.) I don't believe that anyone ever got hurt by listening to one of Ozzy Osbourne's songs. Unless, he was in a mosh pit when it happened... Speaking of which, no one ever got hurt because of ANY Heavy Metal song... Unless it was played so loud that your ears began to bleed. In that case, you either have a fantastic sound system or you're attending a damned good concert. :)

13.) If want to sell me a hamburger, you better do it in American-Standard English. I shouldn't have to speak Spanish (or Ebonics) to place an order at Burger King. Besides, speaking Ebonics just makes you look and sound like a retard. “Yo Nigga, let me get some of that Whopper and shit. Ya feelin' me, dogg?” Did that sound intelligent? I didn't think so, either. And these mouth-breathing Ass-clowns want to be paid $15 an hour... Yeah, right...

14.) I don't use excuses like "It's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions. (Take that, Democrats!)

15.) I think that Rap is the worst excuse for a form of music that has ever been used to plague mankind. (And you thought Disco & Dubstep sucked...) As long as the Black community in America continues to embrace the Thug culture that Rappers tend to glorify, what racism against them that still exists will grow. Advocating dangerous forms of anti-social behavior (i.e. pimping, gang-banging, drug dealing, drive-by shootings, et al.) has a tendency to do that... Their community will also be the permanent underclass of American society from here to the end of time unless they make some serious changes soon. (That ought to cause some controversy!)

16.) I think you can kiss God's ass however you want, just leave me out of it, okay?! That also applies to your sexual preferences.

17.) Hillary Clinton is the Devil herself!!!

18.) I don't hate the rich or pity the poor. Nor do I want to make rich people poor by taxing them to (supposedly) support those who were already poor with some ridiculous government program that will never work. (Please refer back to talking point #11.)

19.) I strongly suspect that Global Warming is largely BULLSHIT. Where are all these 'climate change experts' when I'm freezing my ass off in another long, extremely cold winter? Where is the evidence to support your claims? How can emissions from cars be destroying the Ozone Layer or creating a Greenhouse effect? Hasn't Science already proved that Chlorine gas emissions from chemical plants are what damaged the Ozone Layer? (Those emissions have since been outlawed in the United States.) Also, how can Carbon Dioxide be the catalyst for global warming when it comprises only 3% at most of the world's Greenhouse Effect? This must be some Asshole trying to push an agenda...

20.) About this 'Reparations' crap... I've never owned a slave or been a slave. None of my ancestors owned slaves either because they were essentially dirt-poor White Trash from Sicily, Ireland, Germany, Spain, and England. They were practically slaves themselves in the economic sense. And yet, no one is thinking of giving me a reparations check. What the Fuck? Also, I didn't wander around in the desert for 40 years after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks. Neither have any of you. So, please SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!

21.) Speaking of Race-baiters... I want to know which church that the Rev. Jesse Jackson preaches in every Sunday. And where does he get all of his money? And why is it he's always part of the problem and never part of the solution? (Same goes for Al Sharpton.)

22.) I think if you're too much of a freaking retard to figure out how a ballot works, then you don't deserve to vote. (Especially if you're going to decide who's going to be running the most powerful nation on Earth for the next 4-8 years...)

23.) I never worry about dying before I get even. All of my personal enemies have long since been eliminated as a threat. Muhuhahahahahaha...

24.) I believe that it DOESN'T take a village to raise a child, it takes TWO GOOD PARENTS!!! And I don't care if those parents are a gay couple. Having gay parents will not make the children gay. For the most part, Homosexual leanings are genetic rather than taught via socialization. Children can be successfully raised by single parents but, that is usually not an ideal situation.

25.) Dr. Seuss was a genius.

26.) I'm not that angry or disenfranchised; no matter how desperately the elite media wants the rest of the world to believe otherwise. Chances are that I'm even more pissed off than they could possibly imagine!

27.) Violent video games DON'T make a kid shoot his classmates. His parents are the ones who should be blamed for that brand of stupidity. What kind of parent allows a (possibly deranged and/or mentally impaired) minor to have unsupervised access to guns anyway? (Fuck YOU, Adam Lanza, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold!)

28.) I think the RIAA has a lot of nerve suing a 12-year old for downloading music off of the Internet. Almost every piece of 'music' that comes out nowadays is total crap. Hire ACTUAL artists with some ACTUAL talent and then you won't need to worry about piracy. You'll be selling Records like Gangbusters again. People like buying things! They just don't want what they buy to be CRAP. Also, Vinyl needs to make a much larger comeback than it is already. That format has much better sound quality than any CD or digital track ever will.

29.) I really wish people listened to George Washington when he told us that political parties were a mistake. Things have gotten so partisan that hardly anything can get done.

The alternate domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge, natural to party dissension, which in different ages and countries has perpetrated the most horrid enormities, is itself a frightful despotism. - From George Washington's Presidential Farewell Address.

^^^Well spoken, Mr. President.

30.) I think that any and all kinds of leaders in the world (regardless of their political leanings) could learn something from the leadership of Ronald Reagan. Even his mistakes (i.e. Iran-Contra) could provide valuable lessons.

31.) I think America's borders should be protected and that illegal immigration from Mexico (or anywhere else) should be stopped as soon as possible. I don't care how badly Wal-Mart, Farmers and Contractors want cheap (practically slave) labor. The quality of that labor is usually worse than Labor Unions!!!

32.) Speaking of unions, why do we allow that particular form of Socialism to exist? They're the primary reason for outsourcing and the reduced quality of goods/services in manufacturing, education and many other areas of the economy. (The sooner the UAW burns in Hell, the better...)

33.) I know that Freedom is more than a state of mind. It's also a lot more than just another word for “nothing left to lose.” (Sorry, Janis Joplin.)

34.) I think Political Correctness is the new Fascism. Since when do Left-wingers think they have the right to tell me how I should think and feel about something or someone? If I want to dislike something or someone, that is my concern. Same goes for Right-wingers who may not like my opinions on the War on Drugs being a farce, the Death Penalty being BULLSHIT, the Vatican being an Organized Crime Syndicate, etc. etc. etc.

35.) Gaming websites are also BULLSHIT. Since Nintendo decided to use cartridges on the N64 instead of optical media, they have been trying to convince people that the company will go bankrupt. That never happened. N64 & Gamecube didn't sell as well as they liked but, they were still profitable. Nintendo OWNS the portable market and has since 1989. The Wii surprised the Hell out of these 'analysts' (which are usually financial authors and opinionated dopes talking out of their ass) and went on to sell more than 100 Million units. THEY AREN'T GOING AWAY. Nintendo has so much cash saved up that they can do anything they want for years.

36.) All that being said, Nintendo hasn't done a good job of properly marketing the WiiU and that needs to change pronto. That system is awesome. Thanks in part to that system (and the high costs of their competitors offerings), I have ZERO interest in buying a PS4 or the XBOX One. Sony made their console too expensive by throwing in EVERYTHING they possibly can except backward compatibility this time around. Microsoft wants to control what I do with a product that I purchased and make me pay for online services that the competition gives away for free. No dice, assholes.

37.) Speaking of Microsoft... What the fuck is that company's major malfunction? I like the first XBOX but avoided the 360 like the plague because of its hardware issues. Those issues could have easily been avoided if they just designed the internal hardware and electronics BEFORE designing the external case. Also, I got so sick of the BULLSHIT with Windows that I switched to Linux last summer. I'm not likely to switch back. Linux has no viruses, no random download sabbath and it will NEVER help the NSA to spy on me. EPIC FAIL, Microsoft.

38.) I will never even consider buying a Japanese car. They turn me off about as quick as a broad that can't fill a sweater. Korean cars are ABSOLUTE SHIT. Most European cars don't do it for me, either. I HAVE SPOKEN!!!

39.) ...and finally, (Bill Clinton please pay attention)

I believe that if she has her lips on your dick, then it is sex. It is sex for the both of you. This even applies if she's a fat pig with self-esteem issues and you're a fool that sold his soul (and gave his last name) to the Devil to become President of the United States. "IS" means is, Dumbass!! How the Hell did you get to be President (or get your now useless law degree since you've been disbarred) without knowing that ‘is' is a preposition and doesn't even have a definition!?!

- Lord Publius