Somehow, someway, I came across some news article about Kirk Cameron, the one-time TV star turned Evangelical. He's on some kind of tour to help people strengthen their marriage with various Biblical teachings on the subject. Coincidentally, this article reiterates a few things that have been discussed in the Bible study sessions I have been attending for the last few months.
Here's what Kirk had to say...
"Wives are to honor and respect and follow their husband's lead, not to tell their husband how he ought to be a better husband."
"Thinking that you are going to win an argument, you end up losing. It's a no-win situation. In order for you to win, your husband or wife has to lose. When they lose, you have not built up your marriage. You have really cut them down. When couples start arguing and fighting in front of the kids, dad cuts mom and mom cuts dad and the kids bleed. They see that and it damages them. When the kids get to marriage, they will follow patterns that they see..."
Kirk Cameron is not wrong here, even if his Biblical approach to the subject makes a lot of folks uncomfortable. Why would they feel so uncomfortable? Probably because they are cherry-picking verses out of context and trying to take the text literally, which just doesn't work with a religious text. I do understand why they would want to take things literally, since that is how we are taught to logically analyze things: take the evidence at face value and see if it stands up to scrutiny. However, the Bible is more like a work of literature using a lot of metaphor than some kind of instruction manual for how to live life. I won't try to explain further because, I'm honestly not sure how. It's probably not something that can be rationally explained, only felt. As an Aspie, I'm not really equipped to explain anything emotional.
To those who understand, no explanation is necessary. To those who do not understand, no explanation is likely to ever be possible.
Furthermore, what Kirk means with the 'honor and respect' thing is that a wife should be supportive of their husbands and make them feel significant. Women need security in their relationships and men need to feel like they (and what they do for their families) actually matters. That's also what St. Paul meant whenever he discussed the issue in the Epistles.
However, if you show the verses that he references here (Colossians 3:18-19) to some people, they will take it out of context and assume that women are supposed to be slaves to their husbands. That could not be further from the truth. Moses outlawed that practice in Exodus and put a death penalty on it too. That may be one of the few instances where I might actually approve of a death penalty.
"Anyone who kidnaps someone is to be put to death, whether the victim has been sold or is still in the kidnapper’s possession." - Exodus 21:16
In fact, The Bible is about as Anti-Slavery as you can get. This should not be a surprise considering that it was written by a bunch of Jews who needed some serious Divine Intervention to escape bondage in Egypt. :P
The more I learn about what a real Christian Marriage is supposed to be, the more I find myself liking the idea. It keeps things nice and civil, not to mention happy. Despite popular (and grossly uninformed) opinion, it's actually quite egalitarian. People just get caught up on the wording in whatever version of the Bible they read and either become confused or get the wrong idea. Considering how hard it is to translate Ancient Greek, Latin, Hebrew, Aramaic and Syriac into modern English, this is no surprise. However, that is what clergymen and Bible studies are for...
Also ladies, one final thought: Constant henpecking and nagging is NOT going to help keep your relationship strong. DON'T do that shit. If there's anything that will make a man want to walk out the door, it's you constantly busting his balls. You'd think this would be obvious but, for so many, it's not.
- Lord Publius
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