What it's like to get an Asperger's Diagnosis as an adult

I haven't done an Asperger's post in a while so, here we go...


After coming across an article about several adults being diagnosed with Autism, I decided it's time to share my story. I'll also comment on the parts of the stories of the 3 people in this article. It's a foregone conclusion that I will have had at least some experiences in common with them. Their words will be italicized and mine will be plain, ordinary text.

John Consentino

I was a little emotional — this explained a lot. I thought, why couldn't this have been uncovered, you know, a decade prior? This would have helped so much! Why couldn't anyone except me see this?

Yeah... That's DEFINITELY the way I felt after being diagnosed. I had plenty of trouble paying attention in class as a kid too. I didn't have that problem in college, though. I loved college. I still wish that it led to a career in my chosen field of study, though. Designing video games would be a LOT better for me than the Army, Construction, Insurance Adjusting and now Insurance Sales. However, I might do well with the Insurance Sales. We'll see how that goes...

Emily Paige Ballou

I had always had a lot of trouble that other people didn't seem to have. Things felt like they were always hard for me and easy for everyone else. I spoke late, and speaking was never easy. I had a lot of sensory difficulties: issues with food, clothing, noise, light and touch. I had a lot of motor planning issues that made basically everything hard.

Well, it turns out that I have some pretty horrible physical coordination in some circumstances. Running during PT was always a nightmare because of that sad fact of life. (Not to mention the severe sensory overload...)

It was like I was blind and deaf to things that were socially obvious to others, like I was never actually speaking the same language, and it left me just feeling really, irreparably alone.

I'd like to say it gets better, but that's not always true. I'm hopelessly inept with 'office politics', as my time in Insurance Adjusting clearly demonstrated to me.

[After receiving the diagnosis] I was elated. I was so relieved. I felt vindicated. So much of my life had always been such a mystery, but I had a real answer now.

Yeah, that is exactly how I felt after finding out. I was quite relieved. And since I had already studied Asperger's years earlier, I knew what I had to do to 'shift fire and adapt', as my old Soldier self once said. Other people around me in that particular unit were amazed at how rapidly my behavior and public persona changed. I wasn't. Once I know what the problem is, solving it is usually pretty easy and quick.

Sam Harvey

I graduated in 2012 and started teaching. In the first six weeks, a supervisor who taught autistic students asked me if I was autistic, and I had to pause because this was a person who would know. I replied, "Possibly," and that was the last thing I thought about it because I remembered what I had read on the Autism Speaks website.

A year later, in my second year of teaching special education, one of my students asked me if I was autistic. Now I was seriously wondering if I was. During those two years of teaching, I was socially disciplined for being "unteacherly." My supervisors and fellow teachers set out to "rid me of my unteacherlike qualities," qualities like my struggle with face-to-face communication, talking on the phone, being obsessed with movies and analyzing them and talking about them for hours, etc.

I never became a teacher. I probably should have since several of my High School teachers and College Professors recommended that I join their profession. At the time, I didn't see it, but I do now. I can relate to Mr. Harvey here when he talks about being 'socially disciplined' for being different. I wonder if his bosses would have acted differently if they knew he was on the spectrum?

My own experience...

Where do I begin?

I was diagnosed in 2011, at the age of 29, by an Army psychologist. I was serving in Korea at the time. I had been seeing her for several months by that point. I want to say at least 3, but it might have been 4. My unit commander CPT Brown sent me to the Mental Health clinic on a nearby base since the facilities on our base were quite limited. She was concerned about me since I was not having a good time there. The general incompetence of many of my NCO's and constant PT struggles were making my life a living Hell. Instead of falling into despair/depression like ordinary people, it just made me very angry. That's why CPT Brown was worried.

After talking with the therapist and one of her assistants, they strongly recommended that I attend anger management classes twice a week and therapy once a week. I didn't object because I knew something wasn't right. That, and any excuse I could use to get away from the assholes I worked with was quite welcome. What led to the diagnosis was, oddly enough, my misadventures with a female soldier that was a friend. I made the mistake of falling in love with her. I say a mistake because, in hindsight, I can tell that relationship would have never worked. Anyway, her actions (which often seemed quite crazy to me) just left me hurt and confused. So, the Therapist did a test and we confirmed our mutual suspicions: it was a 'slight' case of Asperger's Syndrome.

To make a long story short, I eventually got sick of all the miscommunications, games and generally flaky behavior from that female soldier. I figured there was no point in chasing after someone that clearly didn't know what she wanted in life. Her behaving like a Runaround Sue didn't help matters. She wasn't really happy with that decision since she mistakenly thought that I wasn't interested in being her friend anymore. All I wanted to do was end the ultimately fruitless romantic pursuit. She even went so far as to try to stalk me on Facebook with a few different fake accounts. In either case though, leaving her behind was the best course of action. Not only was she confused, she was also emotionally unstable. Psychologically healthy people don't act that way.

Since that time, my misadventures in life have led to me leaving the Army with a pretty bad taste in my mouth. As much as the media and Uncle Sam portray Service members as heroes, I have learned that this is simply not so with many of them. My replacement career for that, being an Insurance Adjuster, hasn't been all that great, either. I don't handle office politics very well. I did recently get a new job as a Life Insurance salesman here at home in New Orleans. So, I very well might be able to leave adjusting behind too. I really do hope so because I am so tired of being away from home for months or years on end. Travel gets old after a while. The world outside of New Orleans tends to get pretty bland and boring too.

One day though, I will have my affairs in order. I'll be able to play by my rules for once and actually succeed in life. Just plodding along the best I can playing wage slave is not what I call 'success.' Being my own boss, running my own company and making money that way is much closer to that goal.

- Publius

ADDENDUM 14 MAY 2019: I am out of the insurance business and using my Veteran's benefits to go to college under the G.I. Bill. After graduation, I plan to start my own business. No more shitty jobs for me.