The Voyage Home Part 1

Ever wonder what it’s like when a soldier leaves the Army and heads home? Well, you’re about to find out what it was like for at least one of them…

Leaving the Army behind for good...

Our story starts on April 29^th at 1100 hours EST in Frederick, MD. It’s my last day in uniform as a soldier in the Army. I just got my discharge papers and changed out of my uniform into civilian clothes. I don’t see a reason to continue wearing those damned ACU’s now that they are part of a past phase in my life. (There will be a blog about why I decided to leave the Army when my terminal leave ends in July.) Now that it’s all over, it’s time to get back to where I really belong, America’s most fun and unique city, New Orleans!

As I am driving off the base, Fort Detrick, for the last time, I notice that I have no feelings about it whatsoever. It doesn’t feel good or bad. I was already long past the point where I would care about such things. Anyway, as I drive off the base, I get a phone call from the moving company that picked up some of my stuff the previous day. They wanted to ask me how everything went, confirming delivery date, et al. Before leaving town forever, I stop to pull a few bucks out of the ATM and top off the gas tank at the cheapest place in town… If you can call $3.53 per gallon for regular 87 octane ‘cheap’. Maryland has some really INSANE taxes. I’m glad that I no longer live in that state. It’s too cold in the winter and I don’t want to live in a state controlled by tax-happy Democrats. That state did after all pass a tax on the rain. Ridiculous, huh?

Continuing on...

After filling up, I start my journey home to New Orleans right away. There was no need to stop and say goodbye to anyone since I had already done that the previous week. Within 20 minutes, I am leaving Maryland and going into West Virginia. Another 20 minutes after that, I was in regular Virginia. It took a good 4 or 5 hours to get through that state because of torrential downpours and lots of traffic on the highways. Despite the rain, I was still quite impressed with the Old Dominion State. As always, it was quite beautiful. Too bad they elected a former Clinton aide to be their new Governor a few months ago. I doubt that guy is going to be a good administrator. The further away from the Beltway that I can get, the better. (See how bitter and cynical being a Federal employee can make you?)

I'm NOT tired yet...

Anyway, I managed to escape the rain and cross the border into Tennessee at about 1700 EST that afternoon. My original plan was to stop somewhere in that state for the night, most likely in Chattanooga. However, I didn’t feel tired. Except for a few brief stops for gas and dinner, I just kept going through the Volunteer State as fast as I could. I have spent some considerable time there. It’s a nice place. However, there wasn’t a single Rock station ANYWHERE on the dial, even in the major cities. The best I could find was an Oldies station and a few Classical stations. Everything else was Evangelical programs and Country music. That’s not my scene. I was really wishing that my CD player worked while driving through that state. All that being said, the scenery along the roads was still quite beautiful...

Later that night and still on Eastern Time, I crossed into Northern Georgia. I want to say it was sometime between 2100 and 2200 hours that night. I wouldn’t stay in the Peach State for long, though. I was merely cutting across the northwest corner to get into Alabama. By that time, I had been on the road for nearly 12 hours and was feeling the fatigue. I bought a 5-hour energy shot from a gas station while filling up and then kept right on trekkin’ across the southern United States. Who cares if it’s so dark that I can’t see more than 20 yards in front of my truck? After all, that 2001 Chevy S-10 and I have slugged through far worse than a dark road in the middle of nowhere before. I want to get home, dammit!

TO BE CONTINUED...

Why Sexy Is Sexy

Science just explained why fat people are not normally considered attractive. There were a few civilizations that equated massive girth with great financial and material wealth. However, I'm not part of any of those civilizations. Are any of you? Do such civilizations actually exist?

Anyway...  Next time some loser tries to shame you for not wanting to settle for someone you find unattractive, tell them being a 'chubby chaser' is not scientifically sound. Then, kick them in the crotch for having the nerve of trying to tell you what you should do with your own body and life.

- Lord Publius

The kind of political joke pics you see on Facebook...

The Korean Peninsula is an excellent example of Communism's failures and the success of Free Enterprise. South Korea is prosperous enough to be a G20 country and a major player in the world economy. North Korea looks virtually deserted in this night time picture from orbit.

I wouldn't say that South Korea was a virtual Shangri-La. I lived there for nearly 14 months (August of 2010 to late September of 2011) in the Countryside, not too far from a city named Uijeongbu. The city seemed quite prosperous, like any modern city in a free country should. The rural areas outside of town (and South Korea has no suburbs as we Americans would understand them), were basically a time capsule of Korea's recent past. If you wanted to know what the country looked like when America fought a war there in the 1950's, all you had to do was leave of the cities. There's a VERY large gap between rich and poor there.

All that being said, I'd rather be poor in South Korea instead of ANY kind of status in North Korea. Rich or poor, in the South I'd at least still be a free man.

- Lord Publius

The reason why I will soon buy a PS Vita

If you ever wanted to trip out like Dave Bowman at the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey without using LSD, this game may very well do the trick.

HOLY FREAKING SHIT THAT GAME LOOKS AWESOME!!!

I'm not happy about it being only a digital download title with no option for a physical copy but, I can live with it... It's not every day that Jeff Minter creates a modern update/remake to his seminal work, Tempest 2000 for the Atari Jaguar. That was one of my all-time favorite games as a teenager. I spent only God knows how many hours just zoning out of reality playing that game. Yes, it really was (and still is) that good.

Anyway, I was wondering if I'd ever have a real reason to get the PS Vita. Now I do. Too bad the cheapest one I can find (so far) is $200 and comes bundled with a game I don't even want. Oh, well. I'll find a solution to that problem...

- Lord Publius

15th Anniversary of the Columbine Massacre

This Sunday is more than just Easter for 2014. It's also the 15th Anniversary of the Columbine Massacre. I have decided to reflect on my own unique experiences with this tragic event in recent history... And debunk a LOT of the BULLSHIT that normally got passed around and became Urban Legend because of this tragedy.

1.) Did the Columbine shooters really use custom-made levels for the PC game Doom to practice the shooting in advance?

First, is an urban legend about gaming, which hits pretty damned close to home for me. This one is about the infamous 'Harris Levels' made by the Columbine Shooter, Eric Harris. I have these levels and have played them a few times in college to study the layout and design. Their design was appallingly bad. Also, NONE of them resembled ANY high school anywhere, let alone Columbine. Harris and his shitbag co-hort Dylan Klebold didn't decide to kill their classmates after playing a few computer games. THEY COMMITED THIS ACT OF DOMESTIC TERRORISM BECAUSE THEY WERE SICK IN THE HEAD.

And yes, I did call it an act of Terrorism back then in 1999.

2.) Are you going to blow up the school?

I got asked this question by a lot of stupid, pot-smoking teenagers... And I'll give you all the same answer now that I did back then:

Of course not, Dumbass. Even if I were, do you honestly believe I would tell you about it beforehand? That would reduce the number of people I could theoretically take out in the explosion!

Fucking High School kids... I swear...

3.) Why did everyone think I was going to shoot someone or set off a bomb?

Short answer: Because people are stupid.

Long answer: I was the weird kid in class and wore a LOT of black clothes, including a leather motorcycle jacket and concert T-Shirts everyday. Combine that with Aspergian mannerisms/lack of interest in social activity and its only natural that the other children would be wary of me. They didn't understand me and neuro-typicals fear what they do not understand.

Then, two dumbasses in Colorado go on a shooting spree and freak everyone out. The media labels them as outsiders that wear lots of black, listen to Heavy Metal and play Doom. I was also an outsider, wore lots of black (and still do sometimes), listen to Heavy Metal and sometimes play violent games like Doom. So, like the idiots that teenagers usually are, they put 2 & 2 together and then (somehow) ended up with 5.

All that being said, I did get to take these lemons that life handed me and make some lemonade. I spent a lot of time in principal/administrator/disciplinarian's offices because of this crap and got to know them all pretty well. Thanks to the rapport that I established with them, I managed to get away with a lot of behavior that might have otherwise resulted in disciplinary action.

4.) Was anyone on MY side in this whole sick and twisted affair?

Besides the school's faculty, largely no. Some of my friends thought I was getting a raw deal but, to my knowledge, only one individual stuck up for me in public. Those who were in High School with me and are now reading this should already know who she was so, I won't mention her name here.

All I will say is that she is still to this day one of the few people who can actually talk some sense into me when I'm being a stubborn ass. (Or if my thought processes have become psychologically compromised in some way...) That is why she's my go-to person for advice on many things I don't understand, especially social issues. I normally refer to her by the Italian phrase 'Primo Amore' as a special title.

For example, while I was serving in Korea, I had a rather bizarre 'romantic pursuit', for lack of better term, involving a young female soldier that was my friend. I kept trying to be a gentleman to this chick I had fallen for but, she wasn't treating me well. She was just trying to play head games with people, acting friendly one minute and pushing you away the next. The observed behavior was rather contradictory and confusing, to say the least...

Anyway, the Primo Amore very carefully and diplomatically advised me via Facebook message that this chick was nuts and I should let her go. After thinking about it for about 48 hours, I decided that she was right and took that advice. That was probably one of the smartest decisions I had made while I was over there in that country.

5.) Was there ever any danger of me 'going Ape Shit' on the school?

No. That would be a waste of time and ammo that I didn't even really have. How does a law-abiding teenager get his hands on the arsenal required to launch that kind of assault?

I did find it quite amusing that so many of my classmates were so scared shit-less of me. I normally didn't engage ANY of them and can't even remember most of their names now. Simply put, if that person isn't currently on my friend lists at various social media sites, I probably don't remember that they even existed.

I'll admit that I did have some fun with them and played a few mind games, convincing them that I was the head of an Sicilian organized crime syndicate or some other completely ridiculous bullshit. It was quite a laugh for me, even if no else thought it was funny. Here's how it usually went...

*Random teenager (hence referred to as 'RT') slowly walks up to me*

RT: Um, are you going to blow up the school?

Me: Do you think I will?

RT: Yeah...

Me: Then why should I tell you anything since it's pretty clear you've already made up your mind?

RT: Uhhh...

Me (speaking with a slight Sicilian accent): Look, Dumbass. I wouldn't waste my time destroying this place with a bomb. That's a waste of a perfectly good bomb. I wouldn't shoot any of you kids either because that's a waste of good ammo. It would also accomplish NOTHING at all. So fuck off with that shit!

RT: But...

Me: But nothing, you lower form of life! You are not a threat and thus, are not something I feel a need to exterminate, even if you are currently making yourself a pest! Besides, what self-respecting Paisan is going to discuss family business with someone outside of the Family? *Starts rolling eyes, muttering/cursing under breath in English and Italian as I walk away...*

And that is how you get rid of one ridiculous fear and replace it with another that can actually work to your advantage, if you're a good enough actor. Kinda sad that I would have to gaslight at least half of the kids in school but, they put themselves in that position. All I did was decide that it's better to rule in Hell when it becomes obvious that you aren't welcome in Heaven.

- Lord Publius

Vaccines DON'T Cause Autism. Period.

Don't believe an Aspie about Vaccines being safe and NOT causing Autism? How about a Doctor? And not just any Doctor but, one that conducts autism research and specializes in pediatrics.

“Humans try to make sense of the world by seeing patterns. When they see a disease or condition that tends to appear around the time a child is a year or so old, as autism does, and that is also the age that kids get particular shots, they want to put those things together. Parents watch kids more carefully after they get shots. Sometimes they pick up on symptoms then. Just because two things happen at the same time doesn’t mean that one caused the other. This is why we need careful scientific studies.”

^^^Well said, Doctor.

- Lord Publius

The True Science of Parallel Universes

This is probably the best Layman's terms explanations for Parallel universes that I have ever seen.

- Lord Publius