Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Things I want from the Nintendo Switch & its successor

Some of this is pretty obvious, but other things are not.

1.) Give users the ability to reorder games in the main menu.

Currently, games are organized in the order they are installed and/or last played. If you go to All Software, you can reorganize things in Alphabetical order or by publisher, last played or most played.  This became possible after Update 8.0 was released on 16 April 2019.

All of that is step in the right direction. However, having the ability to create folders and put the icons of the games in them (like I do with my 3ds) would also be helpful. Even if I can only do that with the digital download games, it would still clean up the menu a lot. Most of my Switch games are digital.

2.) Being able to move game data around...

Currently, I can't decide where the game is installed. I want the ability to decide if the game data should be installed/downloaded onto the system memory or the MicroSD card. That would make it possible or me to move the game data for Doom 2016 from my system memory to the MicroSD card. That game's data takes up a LOT of space, even when you do have the physical release copy instead of an eShop download.

3.) More classic games in the eShop.

Yes, I know that this is something that EVERYONE wants Nintendo to do, but it is worth mentioning again. The Switch is more than capable of running games from older systems, even in handheld mode. That's why Nintendo is re-releasing all those great games from the WiiU that never got a chance to shine on that poor-selling console.

There's no reason why Nintendo shouldn't be regularly putting games from the NES, SNES, N64, GameBoy, GameBoy Color & GameBoy Advance in the eShop for us to download. None of them take up much space on servers or an end-user's MicroSD card on their console. So, why aren't they being made available?

For that matter, why not make GameCube and Wii games available? Sure, the Wii games may be only playable in docked mode with the joy-cons serving as Wii-motes and Wii nunchucks. However, there's still a gold mine there. Why is Nintendo NOT exploiting this source of revenue? For that matter, why aren't there more 3rd-party companies re-releasing their back catalog this way?

4.) Different colors (or symbology) for the spines on the physical release titles to denote different game genres.

Nintendo had something similar to this with the NES when it first launched in 1985. The initial release games were all in black boxes and were included in a different series. Action series, Adventure series, Programmable series, Robot series, etc.

So far, all physical release games on the Switch have a red spine on the box. The LABO accessories for the Switch have a black spine. If I had my own company making a console, I'd mandate that there be different box colors for each genre of game, because that would make it easier for buyers to tell what kind of game they are about to purchase. It could also make a cool rainbow effect with the way the games look on an owner's shelf too, depending on how diverse the players tastes are in games.

Anyway, here's the color scheme I would use:

Action (which includes things from FPS to Platformers) - Green
Adventure - Yellow
Compilation/Miscellaneous - Black
Puzzle - White
Racing - Red
RPG/Strategy - Purple
Simulation - Blue
Sports - Orange

5.) My ideas for the Switch sequel console...

A.) The Switch sequel console being a combination of the Switch and 3DS

B.) Having a cable that can plug into a TV set's HDMI port so the games display on the TV and the system acts like a controller. This will make WiiU games even easier to port... Assuming that any of them are left to port at that time. At the current rate, Nintendo will have re-released the entire 1st party WiiU library before the Switch is discontinued. Many of them already have been ported to the Switch or the 3DS by now.

C.) Switching the controls around for left and right-handed players, like the Atari Lynx did. It's not a really big deal, but it would be something unique. No one has done this since the Lynx. A lot of left-handed players would be thankful for this feature.


Sunday, April 14, 2019

10 Laws of good Science Fiction? We shall see...

I came across this website with some 'laws' of good sci-fi, which you can find here. Being an enthusiast of that genre, I thought I'd do some cursory analysis. The original text will be in Italics. My response will be in normal text that's colored lime green.

10. Earthmen are not all white or all men.

Subscribers to Science Fiction magazines in the 1950s were predominantly adult educated white men working as engineers or other technical jobs. White, educated men with technical backgrounds wrote SF stories. There is a strong tradition dating from the Golden Age of SF that SF protagonists are white educated males.

Today, SF readers are younger and much more diverse. SF characters need to reflect the diversity of its readership. It should be as diverse as the backgrounds of the readers, and even more so. Characters need to be all age groups from very young to very old. Ethnically they need to reflect the readership and then push the limits. Sexually, there should be reality-based characters that represent the readers’ real world.

Science Fiction should expand the worldview of its readers and expose them to much more than the normal, expected and ordinary. Nowhere is this more important than in the characters that populate SF stories.

So much for not paying attention to immutable characteristics like race... As both a reader and writer, I genuinely do not care about a character's ethnic background unless it plays some role in the story or character's development. There's a sci-fi novel I am working on now where the lead character is a tall white man from Texas. However, his character background (so far) is so vague that he could easily be Hispanic, Black or mixed and it would not affect his development at all. If his background doesn't matter to me as the author, will it matter to my readers? I would venture to say no. 

Then again, I'm one of those weird people that actually believes in what MLK said about 'judging not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character' rather than one of these SJW assholes. So, what do I know?

9. No Supermen

A Science Fiction writer should never put beings into a story that are so far superior to men that we cannot understand their motives, we cannot overcome their will or we cannot meet them face to face in a fair fight. It is not interesting that there is a being out there who can simply step on us like an ant. This is one of the rules of the famous Science Fiction editor John W. Campbell, Jr.

It is quite possible that we will meet such beings, but it will not be such a good story because the aliens will destroy us, ignore us, or take us as pets.

In order for there to be interaction, or conflict, the protagonist has to have at least a chance of success. He has to out fight, out smart, out luck, or out something in order to make an interesting plot resolution. Avoiding the superman is not interesting. If you can avoid him, he may not be so super. All villains have to have a weaknesses and faults. Even the hero should have a few faults, and it helps if the pretty girl brought along by mistake has a few as well.

The hero’s cause can look hopeless, but we expect that. It is always interesting to see how someone gets out of a sticky situation, but it is no fun when the cause is without any hope.

Agreed. Writing for Superman is incredibly difficult. That's why some of his movies have been a little suspect over the years.

8. No Star Trek or Star Wars.

Nothing can kill a story, conversation, or relationship deader than an inappropriate reference to Star Trek or Star Wars.

Star Trek and Star Wars are worlds unto themselves. They are beyond judgment and criticism. It doesn’t matter how bad any individual scene or episode is, on the whole the worst Star Trek episode is better than anything else that has ever been on television. But, don’t ever think that Star Trek and Star Wars are good Science Fiction. Rarely, they have had moments where they approach good SF, but only rarely.

Authors, please do not bring elements of ST and SW into your stories. Don’t use Phasers, teleporters, droids, Klingons, Wookies, the prime directive and especially never bring “The Force” into a story. This, of course, includes renaming things.

The technology, philosophies, plots and characters of ST, SW, Bab-5, BG, and other TV shows are so obvious and easily recognizable that these elements, no matter how well disguised, are instantly flagged as a bad imitation.

Star Wars is more Science Fantasy than genuine Science Fiction. Also, Star Trek is the gold and platinum standard in Sci-Fi. Don't let the utter crap that is 'Discovery' fool you. As for my story... Well, the only Trek-like elements in it so far would be a few technologies like faster-than-light travel. However, mine is called 'Hyperlight' and it works different from the warp drive on the Enterprise

As for any 'philosophy' my story may have... Well, it wouldn't be at all similar to Star Wars and Star Trek. Star Wars is just classic good vs. evil in a new package. Star Trek is a moderately Humanist message with a special emphasis on the idea that Technology is Good. My story's philosophy would probably be summed up as 'mind your own business and don't poke the bear.'

7. Science Fiction is Real.

Science Fiction is not like fantasy. Science Fiction has to plausible, realistic, possible and yes, it has to be real. Even if it hasn’t happened yet, or never happened in the past, Science Fiction has to be possible in some alternate world. Elements that make a story downright impossible make a story something other than Science Fiction.

There is a lot of leeway as to what reality includes, especially when dealing with a possible science or technology. It is important that the ideas appear to be real and do not raise obvious objections. There will always be a certain level of what Coleridge called the “willing suspension of disbelief”, but a Science Fiction story should never ask a reader to swallow something that is obviously ridiculous or patently impossible without a lot of convincing explanation.

Reality includes creating scientific principles and concepts for which there is no current basis. These scientific notions must be plausible in the sense that they act like the scientific principle which we currently are sure of, but they may not so outlandish as to negate anything we are pretty sure is true now.

Certain things so obviously lack reality that they cannot appear in a Science Fiction story. Vampires, zombies, ghosts, demons, unicorns, elves, and magic are mythical and have no scientific basis, and they are incompatible with Science Fiction. No amount of rationalization is going to make a vampire seem scientifically sound.

Religious ideas such as God, angels, devils, life after death and miracles have a kind of reality based on faith, but are not describable using the scientific method. They are perfectly acceptable as part of a society’s or character’s belief set, but under no circumstances should Jesus appear in a story as a fictional character.

One of the things that makes SF so compelling is that there is a feeling that what we read is real. It may be happening to fictional characters in a fictional situation, but the science and technology are a very real and important part of a reality that affects our lives.

I wouldn't use any of the characters mentioned in this rule, especially Jesus. They don't fit with Sci-Fi and you can't re-imagine them in a way that readers would accept. 

Also, the tech described in my story are all based on real scientific theories, even if some of them are extremely theoretical and (currently) impossible to test. (Super-luminal travel, Dyson spheres, Matrioshka Brains, etc.) That is also one of the VERY few things my story has in common with Star Trek.

6. Giving Something an Alien Name Doesn’t Make it Alien.

Raktajino is coffee. By giving it a Klingon name it sort of appears alien, but everyone drinks it like coffee. It looks like coffee. It is coffee. Writers should not think that making cows into Dvigids and Horses into Pytkos that they are not writing a western. Pistols should not be a ray gun unless the difference between a pistol and a ray gun is important to the plot.

A possible future or an alien culture should not be full of aliases for things that belong in our time on earth – that’s just lazy.

A western can’t be turned into SF by changing Texas to Alderan 7. Humans can’t be transformed into aliens by changing their appearance. A murder mystery set on a space station is a murder mystery, not Science Fiction.

Damon Knight described this as “calling a rabbit a smeerp.”

And yet, the Klingons were still the stand-in for the Soviets whenever the original Star Trek series wanted to do a story that was a Cold War allegory. (A Private Little War, Errand of Mercy, etc.) I'm not sure if this is a good rule or not. There are numerous ways a talented writer could circumvent this one.

5. Aliens Should be Alien

It is quite possible that in the next thousand years we will find intelligent aliens or that they will find us. It is not at all likely that they will be buxom babes with an urge to procreate with the men of Earth.

TV and Movie Scifi uses humans, usually with a strange shape of ear, a long tongue, or wearing a rubber alien suit, because it is hard to make stories about truly alien aliens. Very often aliens are not characters, but props or monsters, especially in movies, making the story not Science Fiction, but a horror movie.

It is quite possible that any alien will be humanoid with symmetric bodies, a head, arms, legs, hands, mouths and eyes that work similarly to their human equivalents. It will be unlikely that they work the same way, though. Sharks and Dolphins are similar looking, but very different creatures, so aliens may look like men in many ways.

Aliens may have two sexes, but are unlikely to be mammals and therefore will not have breasts or lips. They may communicate through sound, but even if they do, they will probably not be able to mimic human sound patterns. Lips are an adaptation for drinking milk from breasts. On earth there are many ways in which a creature feeds its young. Breast milk is one way, but this may not be common on other planets. It seems a good solution to us, but may not be the best way. Creatures without breasts do not have lips.

Aliens will not be like us.

Corollary laws:

A. You will never meet an alien who speaks English like a native.

B. Aliens just like us, but with little squiggles on their noses only appear in low budget TV shows.


C. We will never be able to have sex with aliens using the missionary position.


D. Aliens as far as they have personalities will be more likely to be aggressive and pushy. There are not likely to be kindly, friendly and caring aliens because they would not have the drive to explore space. (In this way, they will be much like us.)


E. Real aliens don’t act anything like you’d expect them to act. For instance, they will not be Nazis.
I found ways around this rule and its corollaries for the antagonist species in my story. Turns out they are a super advanced civilization that uploaded their intellect to a computer eons ago. They occasionally download themselves into vaguely humanoid android bodies whenever they need to do something in the physical world. Their original biological forms were a horrific Lovecraftian cephalopod form instead of anything humanoid. And no, they don't act like Nazis. In some ways, that might actually make them less evil.

4. No Nazis!

Lazy writers have no idea how to create a villain. Villains are human beings with character flaws, psychological handicaps, or even bad luck that forces them to do bad things. They are hard to create, hard to develop and hard to write. The motivation of someone who performs evil acts is difficult for a writer to explain to a reader.

Writers use short cuts. There are classes of characters who are ready-made cookie cutter villains, and require no thought or effort to put in a story. These include Nazis, serial killers, Islamic terrorists, crooked cops, greedy businessmen, maniacs, corrupt politicians, drug fiends, and sadistic nuns.

A writer should use his experience and his imagination to develop characters. A reader should be able to recognize a character as being like someone they may know. A villain should also have a sympathetic element. This is one of the ways to make truly believable characters, and a believable character is the way to bring a reader or viewer into a story line. A writer must create villains that are recognized, understood and even pitied by the reader. Developing a villain is one of the three or four things that make writing hard, but a good villain is one of the three or four things that make fiction good.

A writer who includes World War II Nazis in his story has given up trying to make a real character and has opted for taking the cheap and easy path.

TV shows and Movies are particularly prone to using WWII Nazis, or proto-Nazi villains (cruel men with dark uniforms), simply because there is so little opportunity to develop a good villain in the short time available in a film.

Agreed. Making characters into 'Space Nazis' would have been VERY lazy of me. However, I do have one alien species in this story that is rather militant. Some who are ignorant of History might mistake them for a Nazi allegory that doesn't involve a Holocaust of some kind. However, I think that species is more of a commentary on the futility of Imperialism. Their society, as I have currently laid it out in my mind, has more in common with Spartans, Romans and Mongols than the Nazis.

3. Good Science Fiction is Good Science.

You cannot take the science out of Science Fiction. Science Fiction is not Mythical, Magical or Religious. It is Scientific. Myth, Magic and Religion may be subjects that appear in SF, but there is fundamental difference between Fantasy, Horror and Science fiction, and that is that SF requires real or believable science as part of the plot.

There is a quote somewhere which sort of goes “Advanced science will be indistinguishable from magic”, but when you can’t tell the difference between Science and Magic, it is no longer Science Fiction.

Science must be a part of science fiction. In a real SF story, the science must be so integral to the plot that it cannot be removed from the story.

The science can be mundane, technological, futuristic, advanced or even steampunk science, but it must be part of the story. Stories that take place on other planets or in space are probably science fiction stories. Stories of alien contact may be science fiction, but without fundamental science, are properly classified as horror.

Magical powers like telepathy, visions of the future or communication with the dead are not scientific and not Science Fiction, and they should be classified as Fantasy.
A science fiction story needs to be scientifically real. There must be an element that leads the reader to think, “Yes, this is possible”.

The famous Western Writer, Louis L’Amour describes in an introduction in one of his books the Western Landscape as an active character in a Western Novel. Westerns are not so much stories that take place in a certain place and time as stories about how human beings cope with the land. The deserts, mountains, weather and climate all play an important part in Louis L’Amour stories. It not enough that the stories take place in the West. His stories cannot succeed without some characteristic of the land playing an important role.

Just as the Western Landscape must be a kind of character in a Western, or the sea is a major force in C. S. Forester’s Hornblower novels, so must good science be a character in a Science Fiction Story.

There are no magical powers in any of my work, unless there's a Supernatural entity involved. I don't use characters like that very often and none appear in my sci-fi novel. Also, no one will be mistaking the advanced technology for magic since none of the characters are primitives. Neither are my readers.

2. Science Fiction has a Sense of Wonder

Science Fiction is a unique genre. It blends Technology with Fantasy to create a world in the imagination. The world Science fiction creates is much more than ordinary reality. It is a world of dreams and speculation. Science fiction has embedded in the plots, characters and ideas the goal of an amazing universe of possibility.

True Science fiction is imbued with Sense of Wonder. The reader should be astounded, amazed, and inspired. This sense of wonder is what separates Science Fiction from mainstream technical thrillers.

Science Fiction is the direct product of daydreams and wanderings of imagination. It draws the reader into a feeling of awe about the open-ended universe of what-if. This sense of wonder is what separates, more than anything else, Science Fiction from other genres. It is this sense of wonder that makes young boys so addicted to Science Fiction that we are still reading it when we are old men.

Is this a rule or just a general statement on the nature of the genre? I can't tell.

1. Science Fiction Changes the World for the Better.

We live in a Science Fiction world. As Ray Bradbury said, “Anything you dream is fiction, and anything you accomplish is science, the whole history of mankind is nothing but science fiction”.

TV, computers, cell phones, cures for diseases, the exploration of space – all of these things are the subjects of Science Fiction. Science Fiction is a “What If” literature dealing with Technology, Science and the future.

I am sure that almost every major advance in modern science and technology for the last 50 years appeared first in a Science Fiction novel or short story.

What is more, I think that most, if not all advances in modern science and technology were motivated by a Science Fiction idea. Science Fiction leads and the real world follows. Science is possible because of the Science Fiction notion that there is a new world coming.

The proper function of writing Science Fiction, other than to entertain is to chart the dreams of our futures. A Science Fiction writer warns us of obstacles and dangers to come and shows us the promises of our imagination. Science Fiction is literature where a man’s vision is temporarily cast into a plot with characters so that some day it may become reality.

Science Fiction works out our needs, hopes and problems in the form of a written page, but its goal is to create a future world where the human condition is vastly improved.

Again, is this a rule or a statement on the nature of the genre? All of this is well-known to lovers of the genre. Why do you think it was once called 'speculative fiction' in years past?

RULE ZERO!

Many readers of this list complain that I am being too harsh in my judgments and the many great SF stories break these rules. I only have one case where any Science Fiction story can break a rule without failing.

A Science Fiction Story Should Be Fun!


With the exception of rule #4, a good story can break any of the above rules as long as everyone has a good time. SF’s lowest common denominator is cheap thrills. It is often not literature, but escapist reading for enjoyment. A good story can overcome any breach of rules as long as the reader is transported to a land of imagination that makes all transgressions forgivable. (I still think any story with a Nazi sucks the big one, though).

My stories are not likely to break (many) of these rules. However, they will be a lot of fun... if they ever get finished and published. Also, I am not interested in ever using Nazis in my stories. They are beyond trite at this point. If not for their horrible atrocities, they would be nothing but a complete joke to people nowadays.

- Lord Publius


Sunday, March 10, 2019

13 possibly unpopular (and definitely controversial) opinions on Music, Radio & the Recording Industry

1.) Rock'N'Roll is the soul of God personified through music. End of discussion. I have spoken.

2.) I HATE Rage Against the Machine. They can take their radical Leftist politickin' BULLSHIT and cram it back up their asses where it belongs.

3.) Rap and Hip-Hop are NOT legitimate forms of music. I don't even want to regard them as a strange form of street poetry. Also, that shit gives me a headache.

And this guy don't play... Well, actually, he does play drums and guitar in several bands at once... And he's damned good.

4.) That Dubstep shit can go to Hell too. I'm not interested in listening to the soundtrack of robot porn. This shit also gives me a headache.

5.) Nirvana is overrated. Yes, you did just see a person who came of age in the 1990's talk smack about that band. No matter how much the Media insists that band defined that particular decade, they just aren't really that good. People just latched on to them because they were different from the hair bands of the late 80's and early 90's. If there's one band that might have actually defined Rock in the 1990's, it wasn't these glorified Punkers from Seattle. It would have been MetallicA or PanterA. And speaking of Punk...

6.) Most Punk is just noise and sonic garbage. Melody is IMPORTANT, dammit! If the Sex Pistols could manage to create a few melodies now and then, so can all the rest of you. I have spoken.

7.) Disco wasn't terrible. In fact, it was quite preferable to the Hip-Hop crap that followed in the wake of its demise.

8.) I hate 'NuMetal' too. It's just a bunch of rappers with guitars.

9.) MTV deserves to die. It is a shell of its former self and wouldn't really survive as a strictly music channel in today's Cable TV market anyway. Since we're talking about music on Cable TV, how do those 'Music Choice' channels on most cable and satellite systems still survive? How does that service generate income? I know they diversified into a service like SiriusXM, but SiriusXM doesn't make money, either...

10.) YouTube probably isn't going to be a good place to find music videos for much longer, either. Google seems intent on hate-fucking that platform's asshole until it dies from Super AIDS. Time to go with Vevo, Vimeo, BitChute, et al. instead. That one actually makes me sad. I really do like YouTube. It's sad to see it die.

11.) Morning talk shows on Rock Radio also need to DIE. They are annoying, boring and unnecessary. Do I really need a 4-5 hour show about two jackasses discussing politics and news articles? Does that really need to be on a Rock station instead of the talk station where it belongs? No. No, they do not.

12.) Speaking of morning talk shows on Rock stations, the local one here in NOLA is especially bad. I'm sure John Osterlind is a nice guy, but his show just annoys me. ALL of his jokes fall flat and I don't care for his overly dramatic tendencies when some news story upsets him. There was a time when morning radio was cool with Shock Jocks that actually were funny. However, all of that came to an end when Clear Channel (now known as iHeartMedia) and other media conglomerates bought every media outlet they could and homogenized them. Thanks for running radio, ya Normie jackasses...

AND FINALLY...

13.) Music is a lot like a candy bar. The first thing you do is throw away the Rapper.


The Man. The Myth. The LEGEND.

\m/O_O\m/

- Publius (And I guess my friend Levi "Blakkwylde" Clark too since I used these memes of him here in this blog AND he's a musician. Check out his band CAIN Resurrection. If you like Metal, you will love them.)

Thursday, January 31, 2019

Games I want for a N64 Classic Edition


Nintendo claims that they won't do a Classic Edition of the N64, like they did with the NES & SNES. They claim that the NES Classic was just a one-off designed to give Nintendo something to sell during a holiday season since the WiiU wasn't selling well. Personally, I don't care what they claim. Money talks and bravo sierra walks. In my mind, it's only a matter of time. Both the NES Classic & SNES Classic sold entirely too well and Sony completely screwed up with their PS1 Classic Edition during Holiday 2018. Unless SEGA or Atari can put out a truly stellar product in this area, it looks like Nintendo owns the market. In my opinion, they'd have to be complete fools to walk away from it now. After all, if the NES Classic was meant to just be a one-off, why did it get a sequel with the SNES Classic?

So, here's what I would do with a N64-Mini...

I.) HARDWARE DESIRES

- The miniaturized version of the console should be released in numerous different colors, just like the original N64 was in the late 1990's. I am particularly fond of the Ice Blue one. The Jungle Green model is pretty sweet too.

- Make it possible to play with 4 players, since that was one of the major selling points of the N64 console.

- Since many found it a bit awkward, I would advise Nintendo to NOT replicate the original N64 controller for this system. Use a clone of the GameCube controller instead. The GameCube controllers can handle N64 games without any trouble. I know this because of that Zelda collector's disc that Nintendo released for the GameCube in 2003. It had the 2 Zelda games for the NES & N64 on the disc. I prefer playing Ocarina of Time that way on the GameCube as opposed to the N64 original.

- Also Nintendo, would it kill you guys to make a controller for one of these Classic Editions that has some actual length to them?! Short cables for wired controllers is a no-go.

II.) GAMES I'D LIKE TO SEE ON THIS MACHINE

Each game that I picked has been split up into sections based on genre. Some genres are better represented on the N64 than others, but I believe I came up with good options for all of them

Adventure

Kinda slim pickings for this genre, but what other Adventure games would you play on the N64?

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Arcade Ports/Arcade-style Games

This genre got lots of love on the NES Classic Edition, but not so much on the SNES model. Fortunately, N64 still had an adequate supply of games in this genre.

Asteroids Hyper 64
Robotron 64
Star Soldier: Vanishing Earth

Fighting

This genre was practically unknown on the N64. With the odd controller that N64 had, that isn't a surprise. However, there were still a few quality titles to be found in this genre.

ClayFighter: The Sculptor's Cut
Killer Instinct Gold
Mortal Kombat 4
Mortal Kombat Trilogy
Super Smash Bros.

Flight Simulators

Another genre that was practically unknown on the N64. Thankfully, this genre was also another case of 'quality over quantity' for this classic console.

Pilotwings 64
Star Fox 64
Star Wars: Rogue Squadron

Platformers

This was a genre where the N64 truly excelled and there are many great titles to choose from here. However, I mostly stuck to the ones everyone remembers and loves. These, along with the Zelda games, are likely to be titles that sell the system to retro-gamers and people nostalgic for the N64.

Banjo-Kazooie
Banjo-Tooie
Donkey Kong 64
Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards
Space Station Silicon Valley
Super Mario 64

Racing/Driving

Another genre where the N64 truly excelled. It was hard to narrow it down here. However, there is something for just about everyone. Regardless of whether you like racing cars, go-karts, motorcycles, jet skis, or futuristic hovercraft, this genre has something for you.

Cruis'n USA 
Diddy Kong Racing
Excitebike 64
F-Zero X
Mario Kart 64
Wave Race 64
Wipeout 64

Party/Puzzle games

I combined Party and Puzzle together because both of those genres are virtually non-existent on the N64. And most of the titles of those genres have the word 'Mario' or 'Tetris' in the title. Fortunately, some of those titles still hold up well.

Dr. Mario 64
Mario Party
Mario Party 2
Mario Party 3
Tetrisphere

RPG/Strategy

These two genres were N64's Achilles' Heel. The cartridge format's file size limitations made these kinds of games very difficult to implement on the N64. However, Nintendo still managed to create at least one memorable title in the two genres...

Mega Man 64
Ogre Battle 64: Person of Lordly Caliber
Paper Mario
Pokémon Stadium

Shooters

Another genre where the N64 truly excelled. Sony PlayStation and SEGA Saturn (LOL) never could compete with the N64 when it came to 1st person shooters. Sometimes, even the PC couldn't keep up with the N64 in this area.

Doom 64
GoldenEye 007
Perfect Dark
Pokémon Snap (It's an on-rails shooter)
Quake
Quake II
Turok: Dinosaur Hunter

Sports

N64 was rather weak with this genre as well. It had all the requisite football, basketball and baseball games you'd expect, many of them getting a new version released every year. However, those were boring when they were new. Instead, I went with some extreme sports titles and the requisite Mario sports titles that always seem to sell so well for Nintendo. Those are usually the only sports games that I would play.

1080° Snowboarding
Mario Golf
Mario Tennis
Snowboard Kids
Snowboard Kids 2

================================

And that's all, folks.  Questions, comments, outrageous objections and death threats are both expected and completely ignored. After all, I turned off the comment feature about 3 years ago because of spammer-bots. How could any of you question, comment, object or make a useless threat? :P

- Lord Publius

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

How to spot a THOT

For those who don't know, THOT is an acronym for 'That Ho Over There.' It is synomynous with other words for loose women like skank, slut, whore, tramp, et al. Anyway, there are various kinds of THOT. Some are harmless. Some are not. Let the THOT scale in this post be your guide.

THOT Scale

1.) God-Tier Waifu

- Does not actually exist.
- Put on this scale simply to piss women off...

2.) Nearly a THOT

- Camgirls, Cosplayers
- Send out nudes to everyone
- Have Amazon wishlists w/ lingerie
- Paypal link in Twitter profile
- Goes into heat & could die if they don't get laid often enough...

3.) THOT (AKA Gold-digger)

- Do NOT date anyone on this level.
- WILL make you broke & miserable.

4.) Mega THOT

- Do NOT approach. Avoid at all costs!
- Walking STD factory
- Patient Zero for outbreak of Super AIDS
- More dangerous than the Xenomorph from the Alien movies...

5.) THOT-Leviathan

- A legendary creature and the THOT's final form...
- Can drain Paypal accounts at will...
- She's referenced in the Bible and other ancient texts.
- Her appearance marks the beginning of the End Times...
- AKA ‘The Whore of Babylon'...

You'll have to download this and save it or open the pic in a diferent tab of your web browser to read the text.

I hope this scale helps some of you, my dudes. And remember, if you think you have just spotted a THOT, do NOT engage. Call your local THOT Patrol immediately and let the professionals handle that ho.

- Lord Publius

Saturday, January 5, 2019

Random jokes and shitposting for the beginning of 2019...

1.) A few interesting things I have noticed about the French language...

After taking 2 semesters of College French, I have noticed a few strange things about some of its words. Their word for friend is 'copain.' That almost makes it look like they are admitting that friends can often be a pain in each other's asses. Lolz...

Even more noteworthy, is the fact that the word 'meme' is in their language. Although, their spelling of it would actually be 'même' instead. According to the textbook, this word means 'same' or 'even'. Well, that explains why the Left can't meme because Lord knows those Communist oddballs literally cannot even. :P

2.) MUSLIM & MIDDLE-EASTERN JOKES

Q.) How long may you look at a Muslim with one eye closed?
A.) Until the magazine is empty.

Q.) How many Muslim extremists will it take to destroy America?
A.) None, the TSA can do it all by themselves, thank you very much.

Q.) What do you call a beautiful woman in Pakistan?
A.) A tourist… Or a kidnap victim…

Q.) What do you say to a Pakistani at Christmas?
A.) A quart of milk, a loaf of bread, one Powerball ticket and a pack of Marlboros please.

Q.) How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?
A.) The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.

Q.) Why do most Muslim rapes go unreported?
A.) Goats can't testify.

3.) Alcoholic Airlines

A man is sitting in the coach section of a flight from New York to Chicago, biting his fingernails and sweating profusely. Noticing his disturbed expression, a flight attendant walks over and says, “Sir, can I get you something from the bar to calm you down?” The man gives a nod of approval while shaking terribly. Seconds later, she comes back with a drink. He downs it quickly and seems to calm down. 

Ten minutes later, the flight attendant sees him shaking and biting his nails again. She brings him another drink which he downs immediately. 

A half hour later she returns to see him shaking uncontrollably, and almost in tears. “My goodness,” the flight attendant says, “I’ve never seen someone so afraid to fly.” 

“I’m not afraid of flying,” says the man. 

“Then what’s the matter?" 

“I’m trying to give up drinking..."

4.) LOVE & SEX JOKES

- Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. Twenty years later, you'll want a club and a spade.

- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called "Wedding Cake."

- A man running for mayor was making a speech and thundered, "I want you people to know that there are over two dozen brothels in this town, and I have never been to one of them!" A voice from the back yelled out, "Which one?"

5.) RELIGIOUS JOKES

- Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?"

"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming with plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our friends."

"I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?"

"Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."

6.) Ever wonder what it would be like if Edgar Allen Poe was a computer nerd? Now, you don't have to...

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I porn surfed, weak and weary, Over many a strange and spurious site of hot xxx galore. 

While I clicked my favorite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, And my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour. 

"Tis not possible!", I muttered, "give me back my free hardcore!" 

Quoth the server...."404"

- Lord Publius

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

The Good and Bad of 2018: A short year-in-review post

I'll just make this one short and sweet. That way, it won't take you long to go through this particular post. However, I can't make that promise with some of the other posts of mine that are hyperlinked throughout this piece.There will also be various different memes, just because I feel like being a smart ass. Enjoy!

SCHOOL

GOOD

- The first semester of college (January-May 2018) went really well.

- I switched majors to business administration in this recently completed semester so I can learn to run my own business. I should have done this a long time ago. Working for other people just isn't for me. Sometimes, neither is working with them. God willing, I will never have to depend on staying in an employer's good grace for my paychecks ever again after graduation.



Like those French classes I had to take because of a State requirement...
BAD

- I actually had to switch majors. Computer Science, as its done at UNO at least, was not to my liking or going to lead to the employment/future that I want. I refuse to ever sit in another fucking cubicle ever again! That is nothing but modern economic slavery! Besides, I'm going to be 40 years old when I graduate in 2022. 40 is a bit old to be starting out as a rookie in yet another new career field. Especially if all my co-workers are going to be young 20-somethings with ZERO clue about how the real world operates.

My opinion of smart-ass college kids is NOT high.
Fortunately, UNO's student body seems to be pretty well-adjusted.


- This second semester (August-December 2018) was a real shitshow compared to the first. Besides switching majors, I made the decision to leave the fraternity chapter that I helped found in the first semester. I could list a LOT of reasons to leave, but I won't bother. The reason I left that organization is the same reason I left several others in the past: Bad leadership. Specifically, the leadership on the national level. They made a few decisions that I found incredibly disagreeable and that, from my perspective, also makes them look hypocritical. I will not be knowingly associated with any form of hypocrisy. Like Jeshua, I find hypocrisy to be one of the absolute worst things about this fallen world. There was also a lot of poor decisions made by some of the local leadership that contributed to this decision. However, those are just the rancid cherries on top of the proverbial shit sundae that I refuse to eat. Based on my experiences with them, I'd have to conclude that Fraternities are not worth a damn.

GAMING

BAD

I have not been gaming as much as I'd like... Either too tired or too busy because of school and adult obligations. :/

We all know this sad story...

GOOD

My game collecting hobby hit a LOT of pay-dirt in 2018. Some of the highlights definitely have to be getting those much-needed PC upgrades, an arcade cabinet and a working Colecovision. Talk about having extremely good luck...

I have a pretty good laugh at idiots like this one...
CARS 

BAD

I lost my old 2001 Chevy S-10 pick-up truck, which was a near and dear friend to me. How, you ask? It happened because someone couldn't be bothered to watch the damned road. Damned Louisiana drivers... So much for me restoring that truck someday and turning it into a family heirloom, like I planned. :/ 

My old truck, circa 2011.
GOOD

Bought a new (to me) car in the form of a 2016 Chevy Impala LTZ Limited. This vehicle is FAR superior to every other I have had so far, with regard to technology, luxuries, performance and gas mileage. I have no idea if this vehicle will end up being a family heirloom or not.


Easily the best all-around vehicle I have had to date.
SOCIAL MEDIA

BAD

Thanks to their censorious ways, I had no choice but to abandon Facebook. That could mean that I'll lose my only form of communication with a lot of near and dear old friends that no longer live in my area. Thanks a lot, ZuckerSperg. I look forward to when the Feds throw the proverbial book at you! 

This Cocksmoker is a disgrace to Aspies EVERYWHERE.

GOOD

I found an alternative to Facebook that I find far superior, called Minds.com. I strongly recommend that you all go there and set up accounts ASAP. You'll like NOT being censored or having to give them any kind of personal data beyond an e-mail address for registration. I promise.
The one time when welcoming Refugees is actually a GOOD idea... :P

And a few more memes about Minds, just because I can...




- Lord Publius